Cold Rejection

Flying over her, the bird pooped right onto Kiana’s nose. Skorn was still asleep.

Kiana screamed bloody murder.

Skorn jerked awake. “What? What? Who’s attacking?!” He pulled out two of his knives, ready to attack and protect Kiana.

“A fucking bird shit on me!” Kiana shouted, running to the bathroom.

Skorn calmed down and followed her. “I can help wash it off.” He told her.

“I can wash my own fucking nose.” Kiana said and proceeded to waterboard herself in the bathroom sink.

Skorn shook his head and pulled off his fingerless gloves after putting his knives away. He pulled Kiana from the sink and found a washcloth. Getting soap and water on it, he started to gently rub her nose. “No need to drown yourself.” He told her in a calm tone.

“It’s bird shit. I need bleach.” Kiana said.

“Do you want to fucking blind yourself?!” Skorn snapped as he got rubbing alcohol and rubbed some along her nose. “Calm your tits.”

“Don’t talk about my tits outside the tinder app.” Kiana grimaced. “That stings.”

“It’s rubbing alcohol. It’s supposed to sting.” Skorn said as he got done and used the washcloth to help wipe away the liquid. He dried off her nose and stepped back. “And why not? You have nice tits.”

“That’s tinder talk.” Kiana frowned. “What are you doing here still?”

“I walked you home and a damn bird wouldn’t let me leave.” Skorn shrugged. “There’s nothing wrong with some tinder talk in person, you know.” He leaned on the doorframe and looked out of the room. “Besides, if I didn’t stay, I don’t think your brother would have remembered to lock the door.”

“It’s talk for tinder.” Kiana said, the hangover giving her a headache.

“And for people you like,” Skorn pointed out. “Need anything? You got drunk pretty quick and I’m sure you’ll be dealing with a headache soon or already are.”

“Water and a bottle of aspirin.” Kiana said, opening the medicine cabinet.

Skorn went to the kitchen to grab a cup and some water for Kiana. He returned and held it out to her.

Kiana washed down some aspirin with the water. “Now I’m going to crash. I can lock the door after you.”

“Sure you don’t want me to stick around?” Skorn asked, brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Kiana said.

Skorn shrugged. “Your loss,” He said and headed for the door. “G’night, Sorley!” He called out.

Kiana shut and locked the door after Skorn. She thought it was too bad she had met him outside of tinder.

The bird flew over and sat on Kiana’s head. <Idiot. He was good mate for you.>

“I don’t want a mate, I want to get laid.” Kiana groaned and went to her room. She flopped on her bed.

<But you get laid a lot if you have a mate.> The bird pointed out as she flied up to avoid being crushed. She landed on Kiana’s dresser.

“Not necessarily.” Kiana grumbled, pulling her pillow over her head.

<But he could. Skorn is good man.> The bird sang annoying.

“Shut up or I’ll get a cat.” Kiana threw her phone at the bird.

Dodging the phone, the bird chirped angrily. <Fine, but you missed out! Dumb human.> She flew out of the room to sleep in her nest. Thankfully, she found it on Sorley’s dresser.