Do You Want To Live?

“My stomach is in knots right now.” Tzeitel whispered, flushing with shame. She was so weak.

“Have you eaten at all today?” Klaire asked as they left Dr. Chi’s office. His next patient walked in, a burly man that was always working on equipment. Her had a wolf tail and was often called “the werewolf”. The dog eared woman gave him a wave as they passed and he replied with a polite nod.

Tzeitel scrambled a few steps away from the ‘werewolf’. He was a man. She flushed and looked down. “I can’t remember… I think so.” Tzeitel probably had not eaten and she knew it.

“That sounds like a lie…” Klaire said in a disappointed tone and pulled Tzeitel toward the cafeteria.

Tzeitel dug her heels into the floor. “Not the cafeteria.” She pleaded. So many people could be in there.

“Why? It’s where I want to eat for once, Tzeitel.” Klaire replied. For the past month she’d made herself mostly eat in Tzeitel’s room to keep her friend company, but she was getting exhausted. She needed real interactions with more than just a single person at a time.

“There are people there.” The way Tzeitel said it you’d think people were man eating rabid bears.

“Yes, people to speak with, to socialize with, to step into the world with. Good people that would rather be your friend than your enemy.” Klaire retorted.

“People who could have seen the ph-photos and v-videos.” Tzeitel seemed to be shrinking.

“These people aren't going to judge you for that, Tzeitel. The Underground is here to help us and protect us from things like that.” Klaire persisted.

“What if they like those videos?” Tzeitel hunched up her shoulders. Canestone was a meta and one of the sickest and cruelest people she had ever met.

“Then you can go back to your room on your own.” Klaire pulled her hand away, frowning. She was always tired now that she’d taken on not two, but three new children, was helping Tzeitel and still did missions for MegaCorp while also finding time for her own therapy sessions. She needed a break and wished Tzeitel would work on herself. It was time the pheromone user got on her own two feet.

Not even Klaire had been coddled when she’d arrived.

Tzeitel froze, looking terrified. She was further from her room than she usually went, she rarely went beyond Dr Chi’s office but now she was nearly to the cafeteria. What if she got lost? What if she ran into someone? “P-please…”

“No, Tzeitel. Not a single person here has issue with you and that’s all because you hide in your room all the time. I haven’t been able to see Riley, but I hear he at least leaves his room and participates in activities and even goes to the gym.” Klaire persisted. “You can’t live your entire life hiding away from reality because the world keeps moving. I’m not going to be Dr. Chi and coddle you all the time. I have a life of my own, too. I have children to take care of, people to help, and an entire species to help.”

By species she meant all the metas in the world.

Tzeitel shrank a little more, feeling like panicking. “I’m sorry f-for-for-” Tzeitel could not get the words out.

“For what?” Klaire’s voice was calm, but she was obviously fed up.

Tzeitel struggled to catch her breath, vision swimming in her panic. She put up a scarred hand to lean against the wall as she tried to remember the breathing exercises.

“Deep breaths, Tzeitel.” Klaire reminded her. “You’re not in a life or death situation. This is just a hallway…”

A hallway with no one in it but them. Everyone was busy with lunch at the moment. Or they were off on missions.

Tzeitel sunk to her knees but managed to get her breathing under control. She hated herself. She was weak. Useless. Could not even manage a simple hallway. She should have died in childbirth so Klaire would not have to waste her time and energy on her anymore.

“Tell me something, Tzeitel…” Klaire started as she walked over and stood in front of her friend. “Do you want to be stronger? Do you never want to feel weak and useless against someone attacking you again? Do you want to survive?”

“Yes.” Tzeitel whispered in such a small voice even Klaire would have to strain to hear it. Those damned tears were starting up again. Tzeitel wondered if she would ever get over the pregnancy’s hormones.

“Then you need to get up and fight back, Tzeitel.” Klaire said in a stern tone. “Stop cowering and fight back or you’ll be miserable and unhappy for the rest of your life in that room. Get up.”

Tzeitel shakily got to her feet, using the wall for support. She was afraid to look Klaire in the eye.

“Lift your head and be proud you just stood up on your own, Tzeitel.” Klaire crossed her arms.

Klaire would get a text from Alex informing her about Riley.

Blinking, Klaire pulled out her phone and sighed. It was one thing right after another today, wasn’t it? “I have to speak with Riley, Tzeitel. Let's get you to your room for now.” She hated having to cut this short, but she might not get a chance like this again.

Tzeitel was shaky but managed to lift her head. She looked at Klaire’s phone. “Is Riley okay?”

“No, he was in a horrible state when brought here too. He's been avoiding me. I guess he's finally ready to talk.” Klaire said as she calmly escorted Tzeitel back to her room. “Just remember what I told you, okay? The best way to be safe is to become stronger than the monsters that hurt you. Not just physically, but mentally. We can't let them win, Tzeitel.” There was a distant look in her eyes as she said those words.

“A-are y-you okay?” Tzeitel asked Klaire, worried by how distant Klaire looked.

Klaire jerked back to reality and nodded. “Yes, just old memories.” She replied with a yawn. “I'll have Cook bring you some food. For now, I need to speak with Riley.”

Giving Tzeitel a gentle hug, she left.

Tzeitel went into her room and paced nervously.