Dressing Down
Vas wasn't sure how long he was out, he wasn't quick to wake and when he finally did he wished he could go back to sleep. He felt like hell. He opened his eyes, bleary and still feeling tired.
Nate was by his bedside, standing at rest, but there with him at least. He saw Vas’ eyes flutter open, but he didn’t say anything - not really sure what to say at all.
Vas grimaced trying to sit up. He wasn’t sure if the silence was a blessing or a curse and he didn’t know which would make him feel better. “How long was I out?” Vas is said in low monotone voice.
“Two days, full forty eight,” Nate told him. “Just stay down and relax, they check on you every hour or so.”
Vas less than casually looked around. “Why? They afraid I might sprint outta here or something?” He said settling back down.
“No, that’s what the handcuff is for,” Nate said, pointing down where one of Vas’s hands was chained to the thick frame of the bed. “Nurses come to see your vitals, or maybe because you’re so damned pretty.”
“Damn right I am.” Vas said with a halfhearted smirk but it quickly faded. “Well I’m still alive, to the surprise of no one.”
“Like a cockroach,” Nate said, a hint of pride in his voice. He didn’t break a smile, as he joked, “Or the first half of that, anyway.”
That brought back a smile as Vas chuckled. “So what now … they bothered to fish me out. Doubt there will be a smack on the nose for this.”
“They’re talking rehab,” Nate said in the same calm, steady tone. “I said my peace on it, final decision isn’t mine to make.”
Vas clenched his jaw. He just gave a curt nod. Anything he had to say on the matter would only dig him deeper in the hole he was already in. Anything they dolled out, he would take. He put it all on the line and he did it. He gave Rabbit the best shot he could give her. “No shock there.” He admitted.
“It was a dumbass move, “Nate said simply, leaving it at that. “Lucky they didn’t drown you themselves.”
“Yea, they absolutely ruined the opportunity.” Vas shrugged. “I at least put the evasive driving course to good use. I do have a few notes though.” He joked.
“What were you thinking?” Nate said in the same, calm demeanor. “Seriously, what the fuck. There’s talk about culling you all together.”
Vas winced. “What do you want me to say Nate.” He said head down and looked away. “I'd do it again. I’d do it if it were you or anyone else on the squad.” Vas said, swallowing hard.
“It wasn’t squad, it was an HVI and it was for nothing. The girl’s dead.” Nate said matter of fact.
Hearing that was a huge relief. It made it all worth it. Though on a surface level it made him shutter thinking how differently it could have played out, how close it could have been had it not gone down the way it had. He gripped the bed sheet a little tighter. She was going to be okay. The new and not yet familiar weight of the boot strap necklace wrapped around his wrist helps keep his head on straight. Still. It hurt.
“We were suppose -” Vas started to heat in his voice and stopped, reining himself in. “ … Yea well …” he voice got thick. “... I tried. And failed.”
“Tried what? Disobeying an order from a higher class of hound? Congrats, you succeeded.” Nate snapped.
“Not all orders are good orders.” Vas snapped back. “She was one of us and deserved better!”
“One of … she was a fucking Erinyes, not a hound,” Nate snapped. “Don’t tell me you fell for her, she was what, seven, eight tops. ”
“Oh my God, why does everyone keep saying that!” Vas said, throwing up his hand. “You're so … weird! She was my friend, we fought like hell to survive getting out of that building. It was just me and her and no one else.”
“No one else? You are throwing everything away for some girl you pulled from a bombed building - that doesn’t make you responsible for her for the rest of her fucking life. You did your part, you walk away. I knew having them here was a shit idea.”
“God damn right it does. It's easy to say because you weren't there! I'm not blaming you but I also don't expect you to understand. We depended on each other to survive and she did everything to carry her own weight and earn my respect and you think that is just easy to walk away from?” Vas said getting a little heated.
“I was in the same building, carried one out under each arm, threw their crying asses on the chopper, and you don’t see me bawling my eyes out over an order. And depended on each other to survive? So what you’re saying is that you’re a shit soldier now? Funny I never saw it.”
“Yea I'm sure that's what you tell yourself about Jai. One less shit soldier you gotta carry.” Vas snapped back but regretted it instantly. He didn't want to jab at Nate like that, he was just angry and Nate always seemed to know how to get under his skin. He also knew Nate couldn't understand, not having gone through what he had with Rabbit.