JP - Herbert wants to stay a Human

<Shit, then what the fuck was wrong with you?> Kiana wondered, then felt her phone vibrate and give a loud chime from an incoming text. <OH FUCK!>

The creature suddenly shot its head up, turning right toward Kiana.

“OH, FUCK IS RIGHT!” Herbert yelled, grabbing her arm and bolting down the hall with her. “You didn’t silence that thing?!”

<No! Nobody ever fucking calls or texts me now that Evie has been captured.> Kiana glanced at her phone to see the text was from Gelf. <Fucking thanks, Gelf.>

<Oh, come on! How was she supposed to know we were in…Whatever this place is? Whatever, just keep moving!> He slid to a halt at the end of the hall and slung the door open. Rushing inside, pulling Kiana with him, he closed it and looked around for a place they could hide - that he could hide Kiana for her safety.

<She never responded to my ‘Ever After’ memes. But NOW she texts me? Bitch.> Kiana thought angrily, hiding in a closet. She angrily texted Gelf back. ‘The vet is a mad scientist that turned Herbert into a human and wanted to cut out his organs. I saw his dick. It’s awkward. A monster is chasing us, we almost got away until my cell made noise because you texted me. Thanks. Mind coming here and teleporting our asses out?’ Kiana added the address she went to and hit send.

<Maybe that's something you should talk to her about.> Herbert said as he slid under a desk and hid there.

<If I survive.> Kiana sent to Herbert. She took a selfie and sent that to Gelf too.

Herbert rolled his eyes and was glad to notice the creature had not come into the room. He wasn't about to go out there, though. Instead, he slipped over to a cabinet and started looking over the stuff inside them.

<What are you doing?> Kiana asked, sending Gelf another selfie flicking off the camera with human Herbert in the background. She quickly typed and sent another text to Gelf. ‘Herbert’s dick, not the mad scientist’s dick.’ Kiana thought for a moment, then sent another text. ‘HUMAN Herbert’s dick, EVERYONE saw his pig dick before, nobody cared because he was a pig. This is awkward. I’m afraid I’m going to get caught and experimented on too.’

Herbert found what he needed and went to the door. Setting it on the nearby table, he opened the jar and then the door…

The monstrosity instantly tried to rush at him, only to have the acidic contents of the jar thrown on it as Herbert jumped to the side. It screamed in an inhuman way as it rolled along the floor, knocking down tables and breaking equipment. <Come on!> He yelled at Kiana.

Kiana took a picture of the monster as they ran. She sent the picture to Gelf, in her hurry she accidentally added a mustache filter to the picture. She ran alongside Herbert. <Let’s just jump out a window or something, get out of here!>

<Window? What window?! There are none in this place, Kiana!> He gestured around them where there were indeed no windows at all. It was as if they had been thrown into some freaky alternate dimension. <I don’t even know if Gelf and Sorley can make it here!>

<How the fuck did we even get in here? It sure as fuck did not look anything like this when I came in!> Kiana sent, trying to not panic.

<I don’t know, Kiana.> Herbert said as they reached double doors. Glancing back, happy to see the monster was not following, he started to push the doors open. <Lets just keep moving and get out of here.>

Kiana slammed against the double doors. <And let’s find you a new vet when we get home.>

“I don’t need a fucking vet, Kiana!” Herbert snapped suddenly, anger written on his face. “I’m human now and I want to stay this way!” He finally kicked one of the doors open.

“Oh.” Kiana blinked. Well of course Herbert wanted to stay human, people ate pigs. “I guess you can see Frisk like the rest of us then.” She said, hurrying out the door.

“Yeah,” Herbert said and once he realized they were simply in a cafeteria, he picked up a table and threw it at the wall. “What the fuck?! Let us out of here!”

Kiana swore too.

A door from the other end of the cafeteria opened. A familiar looking man looked through the door. He looked just like Kiana’s father.

“Oh FUCK!” Kiana swore, turning to the door they had just come in.

“What’s wrong, Kiana?” Herbert asked as he followed her.

<That’s fucking Canestone! He’s supposed to be dead but the Bitcher must have brought him back again somehow!> Kiana sent, freaking the fuck out now. Hands shaking too much to text Gelf she called her this time.

Herbert merely picked up Kiana and rushed down the hall with her. “Fuck that, then!”

<Yeah!> “Oh thank fuck!” Kiana cried when Gelf answered the phone. “I’m at that address I gave you- but it looks different from when we went in. It’s changed… and Canestone is here! Am I in Hell? Oh fuck, did that send me to Hell? It’s too fucking easy to get in Hell! Gelf, get us out of here!”

“Hey wait!” Caneclone cried, running after Herbert and Kiana. “Please stop!”

"Hell no!" Herbert yelled, not trusting the Canestone looking guy. Something about him was unsettling the pink haired man. "Please get us outta here, Gelf!"

Gelf: "who's that I hear? Never mind. We'll find a way. Just don't let that creep get close!"

“That’s Herbert, and I’m trying to stay the fuck away from Canestone! AHH!” Kiana screamed when she thought they had lost Caneclone, only for him to come out a door ahead of them.

Herbert stopped and glared at Caneclone, holding Kiana close to him. “Fuck off, you prick! We don’t want anything to do with you!” He shouted, determined to keep the redhead in his arms safe.

“Why do people hate me for no reason?” Caneclone cried. “I could help you get out.”

“Oh, there are plenty of reason to hate you, you sick, twisted fucker!” Kiana shouted. She wished she had a weapon besides a drained taser.

Herbert took a few steps back, making sure he had a good hold on Kiana so he wouldn’t accidentally drop her. “Fuck off, man…we don’t want anything to do with you.” He said stiffly before hearing Gelf’s voice.

“I’ve never done anything to you!” Caneclone said. “I’ve never even met you before.”

“GELF!” Kiana screamed at the top of her lungs.