Animal Farm Apartment

Herbert, curious, walked out of the kitchen and began to explore the apartment.

Whiskers looked down at the pig from his high perch on a bookshelf. He knocked down a paperback.

Carla, sitting upon Herbert’s back, squawked and hopped onto the book, pecking at it wildly. <Be careful, my love! The cat means to harm you!>

<Calm down, Carla…> Herbert grumbled and looked up at Whiskers. <Who are you, sir?>

<High Prince Wonder Whiskers.” Whiskers said proudly, knocking another book off the shelf. He was not aiming at the pig or chicken but it was his solemn duty as a cat to knock things off shelves.

Realizing he was not aiming them, Carla returned to Herbert’s back and sat there calmly. She was always on guard.

<I’m Herbert, just a pig.> Herbert replied and easily climbed up onto the couch, getting comfortable. <This is Carla, my wife. Who is the sad hummingbird?>

Nelly was sitting silently on Whisker’s head. She weighed so little he wouldn’t even notice her, but she did indeed look very sad.

<A bad mother.> Whiskers said, knocking down another book.

<Tch.> Carla glared at the hummingbird. <And you let her live?>

<They were cold!> Nelly wept.

<What was cold?> Herbert asked.

Boy, Kiana would come into the living room to quite a sight.

<She let her kittens get cold so they won’t hatch.> Whiskers said.

Kiana was still on her Tinder date but would be coming home soon.

<Birds don’t have kittens.> Herbert grumbled.

<She may have just popped out eggs that had no babies in them. We chickens do it all the time and humans eat them.> Carla pointed out.

<Humans don’t eat hummingbird eggs.> Whiskers sniffed, knocking down another book.

Carla chuckled at all the books now on the floor. <I know.> She replied and looked at the hummingbird. <I was just stating a fact about how bird eggs can happen at times.>

<I don’t think he really cares.> Herbert snorted.

<She neglected her kittens and they got cold.> Whiskers knocked down another book.

Kiana could be heard rattling her keys at the door.

Herbert and Carla looked toward the door.

Nelly just wept when Whiskers told them about her ‘kittens’. They had not been fertilized eggs in the first place, but who cared? She needed to face facts. She couldn't be popping out bird babies in a random person’s home on a random dude’s head…

Kiana opened the door. Her hair was still slightly damp from the shower she had taken at the motel after her date. She stared at the pig and chicken. <Where did you come from?>

<Gelf brought us.> Herbert answered calmly. <She is enjoying mac and cheese.>

Carla tilted her head at Kiana. <It’s her favorite meal. I am Carla and this is my husband, Herbert. Considering you have a key, I assume you live here. Who might you be, one that can speak with us?>

Nelly huddled into Whiskers’ fur to stay hidden.

<Kiana.> Kiana had not expected her apartment to be turned into a farm in the few hours she was gone getting laid. She wondered why Sorley wasn't at work and wondered if he called in to have Gelf over for dinner.

<Nice to meet you > Herbert said.

<We will leave once Gelf is ready. Sorry for our intrusion. Whiskers has been nice enough talk with us.> Carla explained. <Though, the hummingbird is still…depressed?>

<The hummingbird was being a shitting bitch to everyone so nobody wants to be friends with her. I imagine that’s depressing.> Kiana said. <You’re fine here.>

<Huh…> Herbert snorted and got a little more comfortable as Carla stretched her wings. <Maybe she’s just not in her right mind. Hummingbirds are…odd.>

<I’m not crazy!> Nelly pouted.