Nurse Talk (Pt 3)

“I know, but did Nine do anything to actually harm you when you had to fix his nose?” Nurse asked. “Did you see how he stopped moving and let you do what was needed? He trusts you and maybe you should give him the chance to be trusted too.”

“It hurts to touch.” Tzeitel said. “I know he wouldn’t hurt me but it hurts…” Tzeitel literally repelled medical staff during her labor while bleeding out because she could not stand them touching her even though she knew they were saving her life.

“You will need to work past this, grow accustomed to touching others,” Nurse persisted. “If you don’t, you’ll be stuck in this state of constant limbo and fear. It doesn’t have to be a long touch. You can make it small touches. Here…touch my hand. Just tap it with a finger.” She held out her hand for Tzeitel.

Tzeitel shook her head, pressing her back against the wall. “Please, I can’t.” Tzeitel felt exhausted.

“Tzeitel, you have to try. You’re giving up before you try.” Nurse insisted.

“If it hurt you as much as it hurts me you wouldn’t say that.” Tzeitel said.

“I would,” Nurse retorted. “I dealt with extreme skin sensitivity all my life until I met Chi.”

“His feathers?” Tzeitel asked.

Nurse shook her head. “No, back when we first met he wasn’t so…rooster-ish. He was more human. His power didn’t manifest until he was older.” She explained. “We were teens in high school and I…” She didn’t like explaining her life before meeting him. “I came from an abusive family. They did things to me that made touching difficult and painful, but Chi was patient and let me learn to touch again. It started with little taps and eventually I was holding his hand.”

She touched her stomach now. “And now I’m finally going to have my dream come true.”

“Oh…” Tzeiel said. She hugged her knees under her chin. “I never wanted to get pregnant.”

“Not everyone does, but touch is a part of life.” Nurse explained. “It’s one of the major ways we take in the world around us. This is why you need to try. You’ll get to experience hugs from friends, shaking hands, and all kinds of other things that you’ll miss out on if you don’t try. It was difficult for me, but Chi persisted and I’m able to be a doctor now.”

“I’ve already been touched too much.” Tzeitel whispered, remembering the guards, Canestone.

“That was bad touch,” Nurse whispered back. “This will be a good touch. A touch you made. Not one someone else made.” She kept her hand held out. “It’s not me touching you, it’s you touching me.”

Tzeitel looked at Nurse’s hand. She looked at it like it was a spider or a live wire.

“It’s okay, I promise not to do anything.” Nurse insisted.

Tzeitel slowly raised her hand. She continued staring at Nurse’s hand.

Nurse just let her hand hang there, waiting calmly.