Dream Weaver : Mathias/Nike Part 3
Mathias took a long hit letting out the smoke slowly. “I don’t have the full story but I think just caught Serena trying to deal Carbon Copy … I got so angry. Shit, I’m still angry with her with all the shit I have gone through all the shit she’s seen …” Mathias stopped cutting himself off, so badly wanting to rant. “ … but I know at the end of the day it's my fault. I did that and I don’t when it happened I became the monster in a really awesome red ajacket in this narrative. I only realize now how much I really suck at actually protecting my family and that I have been nothing but a magnet of trouble.”
“We both know you’re not a monster. You’re a guy, with a family that needs to eat, needs somewhere to live, who is, and has always been, way too hard on himself.” she told him. “You were dealt a shitty hand, but that doesn’t make you a shitty person. You didn’t cause the situation. And I don’t know Serena like I know you and Cyd, but anyone with eyes can see she idolizes you. You don’t want her following your footsteps, I get that, and I get why, but there’s not a lot of opportunity in the Sprawl. You’ve done great, her, Cyd, Isaac - no one ended up in a Rin gang. No one is selling themselves on the street, or strung out. You did that, Mathias. Give yourself a little credit, and a little grace. You are not the villain in this story.”
“Oh? You would 16 year old Mathias date your 16 year old sister?” Mathias challenged with a smirk. “I am totally the guy you do not bring him to mom … or … dad. Either.” He chuckled.
“Hell no,” she laughed, leaning her head back against his. “But not because of your chemistry skills and that you use them to cook drugs. Because sixteen year old Mathias was all mine. Sisters don’t share everything,” she teased. “You see a devil in a red jacket. The rest of us? We see someone who doesn't have it easy, but who doesn’t give up. Someone fiercely loyal to anyone close to you. Someone protective. Someone who smiles through to show it’s okay, even when you’re hurting and not sure of that yourself. I wouldn’t have made it without you.”
“Oh stop being so insightful and sweet!” Mathias said with a chuckle. “I'm trying to wallow in self pity and you're just making that impossible. Are you looking to make me into a jealous man? That's what's going to happen and that is on you.” He teased, shoulder bumping Nike.
“I’m just helping you ride out a trip,” Nike said, feigning innocence. “For all you know? I’m a figment of your drug addled imagination. You’ve pulled me out of the quicksand of sorry-for-myself more than once. I’m returning the favor.”
“You're a terrible liar. Figment of my imagination indeed.” Mathias smirked looking at Nike. “I’m glad you got out though. I can't say what life would have been better if you stayed but it seemed better for you because you left.”
“It wasn’t my choice,” she apologized. “Between my dad trying to stay ahead of his legal issues, Nikka’s chaos magic evolving into… well, chaos, me being sedated most of the time and Nikita… I’m sure she had her issues too. I couldn’t help you then, but now, if there’s anything, you don’t even have to name it. It’s yours.”
“Don't apologize. Not for shit any of us had no control over.” Mathias sighed. “Having a nice dream ever so often, particularly on a bad day would be great . I have no idea what I'm going to do about Serena … or Cyd. Those two I swear it like watching a science project go wrong.”
“Cyd’s an adult Mathias. Talk to her. Or I can talk to her if you want. Serena… We can trade off. Take Nikka for a week, I’ll take Serena,” she said with a chuckle. “And any time you want a decent dream? I got you. Maybe somewhere less grungy. A little brighter. You’ll figure it out - you always do. Just don’t try to shoulder everything alone. You have people who love you, who care about you and who I think are pretty worried about you. In fact, I think…” She put a hand to his cheek. Her fingers were cold and comforting as she pressed them to him, moving it to his forehead. “I think this is when you wake up.”