Dream Weaver : Mathias/Nike part 2

Nike passed Mathias a joint that literally appeared from thin air. “While we were still together,” she told him. “I just stopped dreaming all together, couldn’t hit rem, I was popping downers like pez candy. If it was just me, just that, I bet Klaus would have kept us here.”

“Nikita and Nikka? Always feel like it groups. No wonder people thought it contagious.” Mathias snorted. “It sucked when you left, sucked after you left too.”

“It sucked leaving. I rebelled- an embarrassing amount because I was so pissed at Klaus. Ran away half a dozen times, tried to hitchhike to get back here.”

“That’s ballsy as hell. How did you make it?” Mathias asked passing the joining back.

“The beach helped… a lot. It’s hard to be hardcore badass when you’re in a bikini listening to the surf come in,” she admitted, taking a few puffs. “And I had no connections, no way to get downers, so, a couple of breakdowns later, I get thrown into that study. Learned to borrow dreams. Visited you once, maybe twice. You know the rest.” She held the smoke a moment, then passed the joint back.

“Shit, can we trade?” Mathias laughs taking a hit. “Naw … it was just a lot of the same. Just down one more person. You were missed for a long time. Not just because you did a kick-ass dye job for under two credits.”

“You were my first,” she told him honestly. “You were more than missed. And I still have that matching tat, I will keep that forever! But we were what, fifteen? Sixteen? Everything is more intense when you’re a teen. The ups, the downs, I try to remember that with Nikka and Nikita. Now that we’re both grown up and domesticated.”

“Tell me about it, you know I think I'm really good about the crazy shit Serena sometimes gets into. Hell I know I’ve done so much worse, hell not long after you left it got so bad. There were so many times I should have gotten busted. But Issac is in Juvie for skateboarding of all things and Serena, I know she means well but watching her makes me question how I survived to adulthood.” Mathias said, passing the magical joint that never seemed to go down.

“You survived because you knew if you didn’t, they’d be alone.” Nike said quietly. “And you make everything look less dangerous, you play it down because you don’t want them to worry about you. So they think they can do the same.” She let her hand linger on his for just a moment before taking the joint, trying to think of what to say, to help fix things, but sometimes, all you could do for someone was be there and listen. “Like when you got jumped.” She added, as they both sank to the floor, sitting back to back to support each other like old times.

“Who said I got jumped how do you know I did get thin falling into … doorknob.” Mathias said but could keep a straight face. “Okay fine it’s a short list and getting a jump is a reasonable guess.”

“You came to see me after,” Nike confessed. “Not… physically. But here. I gave you space, you needed it. I’m just glad I could be there for you. I know you did what you had to, and I know this conversation is making you super uncomfortable, and if I keep on the topic, you will wake yourself up. Just know it’s okay. I’m here for you. Your family is there for you. I know you want to shoulder it alone, you’re the big brother, I get it. I’m a hypocrite. But if you shield them from everything, they won’t know how to protect themselves. Or how to help when you need it.”

Mathias was quiet for a long moment. “I … honestly don't know who I am or who I would be without the weight of my family on my back. And there are just a lot of things I just can’t talk to them about. The last real talk I had was when Cyd found out I was dealing … and don’t get me wrong I tried so hard to make it legit … but she blew such a gasket. I mean it’s one thing buy and smoke up and drop a pill but the line is crossed at selling. Like, I became what made the worst part of the sprawl the sprawl. Not to mention the laundry list of shit that could be wrong … but the money helped. So god damn much. Can’t really be angry on a full belly.” Mathias chuckled and frowned looking at his blackened fingers. “Then she found out I was cooking … we never really talk about that. At all. I know she isn’t okay with it, I know when sees that red jacket, she hates it. But what is she gonna do or say? No Mathias? Don't cook, get yourself tied into a gang for your supply?”