Flashback: Hold every thought captive

Time stamp: Seven months ago during a meditation session.

Gonyaul had been meditating for a few hours. Cognitive thoughts had melted away leaving behind a trance like state of visceral experience. Emotions deep within the subconscious were running like a river of inertia, carrying him along. He didn’t always make it this deep into his longer meditations; however, today he succeeded.

He felt like he was outside himself, watching from a high vantage point as he effortlessly was swept away by the current. The waters were at times smooth and other times rough; however, never threatening. He floated at peace.

As he went along in the dark waters, thoughts came and spoke to him. Like a sponge being saturated is how he felt they talked, permeating his every fiber. Yet none stayed, they came and went. One though did feel louder and it whispered the following:

“Wither must I wander? Through sands dry and crying for the morning dew do I walk daily? Perhaps gardens of delight teaming with doves, does and lavender blossoms? Nae the latter I dare not venture for upon the beauty of affection I am an outcast. That home hast never called my name and will forever find closed doors upon my lips. My feet, thence, are in the dust. The sands of voided isolation do I make my path. Skin burnt with time, tongue parched with patience, and soul weary of unreflected thoughts.”

He instantly felt a jolt of cold loneliness wash over his face. He dunked under the waters for the first time. He came up gasping for air and dipped under again. He sunk deeper and deeper until he was out of sight in the darkness. Bubbles escaped his mouth on the descent downward and when each broke the service the word alone echoed in the void. It was all dark and time stood still.

He embraced the feeling. Despite it all, he retained his willingness to choose what to do with this. He chose to embrace it for it was there, but he also chose to release it for it was not forever. Seasons come and seasons go; there is a time for all things under the sun.

With that, light entered the void. He was resting peacefully again. Moments later his eyes opened for real.

He removed the wrapping from his eyes and looked around at the nature surrounding him. Gonyaul smiled up at the sky, basking in the warmth and glow of the noon sun. He called to it with the hopeful lesson he learned.

(In Vauxian) “Not every thought do I have to follow. I will hold every thought captive and only release those that bring joy, peace and love.” He laughed, because the sun already knew this most likely.

He did feel alone.

(In Vauxian) “It is going to be a great day today.” He decided with an upbeat spirit.