Wise Words

JP between Lorem and Lucian

Tarmen had to take a moment, not fully knowing the answer to what he had been asking himself for some time.
Looking to the sky, he found comfort in how endless and unattached it seemed as he breathed a slow sigh.

“Well, at first it was cause you lot were the most competent. Alexis and Voah proved capable on Sentinel and you managed to stick around long enough for me to notice you. Then Aquilo happened, then Gra’akast. They have been there for me and I want to repay that loyalty. Was always my rule, loyalty, and they’ve more than earned mine.”

It all hadn’t quite clicked into place in his head, but he felt he was close to knowing what part of his past self remained. He couldn’t even remember a point when he had started changing.

“At some point, I started dislikin’ the man I was. Been fightin’ with myself ever since and it’s nearly killed me twice.”

Gonyaul could definitely agree with the competency reasoning. He also found Alexis and Voah to be more than capable. He wouldn’t include himself if standing alone, but when working in tandem with others he found a way to pull through and contribute in his own way.

“Hard to catch leaves falling on both sides of a tree.” Gonyaul furrowed his brow, he wasn’t sure if that would make sense to Tarmen, so he tried again. “What mean is hard fight person in front and behind at same time. You fighting you past behind and your future in front?”

Gonyaul shrugged, “I not know everything, but I find hard to walk forward through the unknown path when looking backwards.”

Once again the younger’s words had a deep wisdom to them. Tarmen had realized his conundrum before, but to hear someone else say it made it seem less foolish. He found himself smiling at Gonyaul.

“I have to agree with you on that, though I have been findin’ it difficult to not look back. So much to think over, so much to come to terms with now.”

The smile faltered as his gaze did as well. He found himself swallowing at his next thought, yet knew it was something he wanted to ask.

“How do you deal with it? Thought I had my ways for handlin’ the worst of life, but like so much of my life, it’s proven…wrong.”

Gonyaul looked off into the past to gather ideas for how to answer such a big question. He then looked upwards in an attempt to replay what had he actually been doing since he stepped outside the area of his people. It all took but a few moments.

He was amazed at how quickly one could revisit the past and come back again.

Gonyaul smiled, ready to share. “I start with asking good questions, like you doing. If no ask the right question, then always get wrong answer.” He smirked remembering the times in his past where he had asked the wrong questions which forced him to have to readdress the same issues again.

“I try be better today than yesterday. It mean I need first listen, follow directions and then do. This help grow wisdom and skill to serve others.” Gonyaul emphasized the words serve others. “I then use that to leave people, places and things better than when I found them.”

Gonyaul shrugged, “My plan not always work as think. But I try and implement the best plan I make. Then learn from. And try again.”

Gonyaul looked to Tarmen wondering if he had answered his question well enough. How does one condense his 18 years of Vauxian training and understanding into a single answer?

“If you want, I go in more detail about specific how do get up when life knock down?” Gonyaul offered.

Tarmen initially felt shame in asking, Gonyaul’s silence being mistaken for the boy trying to comprehend such a stupid question.
He was about to backtrack and excuse himself when Gonyaul answered.

Leave things better than when you found them? Just a few months ago he would have baulked at such a suggestion.
Now though, it brought up his near death pledge.
A place for everyone.
If he hadn’t been mostly sobered already, that correlation would have done the trick. His brow knotted at the thought as it revealed many paths for him to consider, though he wanted to keep Gonyaul’s offer on hold. He had shown enough deep emotion for one night.

“Maybe another night, but you’ve offered enough for me to mull over tonight.”

His brow remained twisted in thought as he genuinely smiled at Gonyaul, offering his hand.

“Thank you Gonyaul. I can see why Voah has taken such a likin’ to you. Said it before and I’ll say it again, you’re a far better man than me.”

With that he stood, feeling too vulnerable from the talk and needing to relieve himself as well.
Not sure if he should say anything else, he simply nodded to Gonyaul before walking off.