Purpose is Inside

JP with Omni and Lorem

~I wonder why you keep give reigns of you life over to those things which no appreciate you?~

“I can’t… I can’t help it. And… now they’re more real than ever… I don’t know what to do…”

Her mind was sobering and she stood wavering.

“I can’t?” Gonyaul moved over to her and gently guided the sword back down. Then he took it from her slowly. He could argue that he had more right to the sword technically if she resisted, it was after all made from one of his ancestors.

He faced her and his pinkie fingers laced with her own. “I have very important job as your rabbit. My job is to remind you how wonderful you are should you ever forget.” He smiled and brought her right hand up to kiss it tenderly.

He kept her hand at his lips, not making the mistake to plunge in for a kiss on her lips again with alcohol on it, and looked up and past it to her eyes.

“My Voah is a woman at begin, middle and end of good things.” He kissed her palm lovingly.

“My gold fox knows how to leave things better than when found them.”

He kissed her hand between the spread knuckles and lowered it back down. He then arched his brow.

“You look for purpose like it something be found. He placed his hand on her heart. Kagim already inside, you purpose blossoms when you be you and not what everyone else want you be. No matter event, it is about you response.”

He looked past her out the window to the greater expanse and horizon. The sun was beginning to set and it was painting the desert in some breathtaking colors. “I look at all trouble world in and question if all these gods know what are doing?”

She let him take the weapon away and she was even starting to calm before that last comment.

“What do you know of the Gods!? You cannot solve all of the worlds trouble with kind words and a smile! There is real evil out there, Gonyaul… magikal evil, I have seen them both!”

Gonyaul realized he said too much, and was probably inappropriate, by her response. It was a bitter pill to swallow, trying to help and in doing so getting to be the whipping boy for her frustrations. He could have fired back in defense of himself, that he was not the cause of her problems. In fact, perhaps he should go get Vastad if she wanted to pick a fight. He decided against these knee jerk reactions that was based on his hurt feelings.

Instead he surrendered his pride. “You right, I no expert of gods. You see more than me. Shall I go so that you may be comforted by them?” He inquired sincerely, not at all being snarky.

She was lecturing him on real evil. A race that was nearly exterminated by both sides magikal religions and non-magikal religions. He kept telling himself that she was just discharging discomfort and pain and he was the closest target. It still hurt.

He wondered if he should go and let her be; however, he was concerned for her safety.

He took a deep breath. “What I do know, is there are two type of people. The decent and indecent. No matter where go, all groups have both.” He sounded sad as he spoke, but it was unclear if it was because of her snapping at him or because indecency caused so much unnecessary suffering in the world.

He walked to the stairs, “Let me carry you down to bed and get you water, please? Then I let you be.”

She agreed about the types of people but she wanted to argue, still clueless to the full story about why magik was the enemy of the Pillars and what more Gonyaul was that he didn't know. Clearly he and his people were important to the Pillars and it couldn't be all just a waste of one life to save thousands. That wasn't the Gods choice to make. Whose was it then hers? She wished she could get answers.

She wanted to say ~Fuck it all, the Pillars, the maleficium! This is me, this total mess is who I am!~

But she considered his words about kagim, how she shouldn't be looking for a purpose. How? She lived to serve, she needed a purpose.

But now she was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. They didn't know it at the time but it was going to be the only day that week where they didn't get booted out to move on.

"I can manage..." she sulked as she took his hand and they carefully walked down the old stair.