Buzzing Impulses From The Past

Voah and Gonyaul stood in silence staring beyond the sands and into the stars over the Great Desert of Skulls. Gonyaul's hair, black as midnight, blotted out a portion of the sky like a giant maw. Strands of his hair fluttered about in the desert wind.

She found herself watching him from behind, consdiring the changes in her life over the last year. The possible loss of her Gods. When suddenly a brief, violent impulse came to her, to throttle him. Six months ago, before meeting him, it would have been so easy. It may be easy still as he was fully trusting of her touch. She envisioned herself just putting her hands around his throat and ending the Vauxian. For the Inquisition.

The trouble was... things were vastly different for her now. That vision showed her the truth of how things would really transpire. She would place one hand first, caressing him, followed by a treacherous kiss while the other grasping hand stole up beside the first. He may be suprised and struggle at first, but she knew he would not fight her, he would not lay hands on her in violence or retaliation, he would just look into her eyes and allow himself to shuffle loose, giving her what she wanted, with no regrets of his love, only sadness that she had fallen from redemption.

But she would open her eyes to see the light leave him and she would falter, disarmed once again by those gentle, pacifying doe eyes that she had learned so quickly to love. Had she managed to follow through with the deed, it would have broken her forever. Those pitying eyes would haunt her and she would never, ever learn to forgive herself. There was no question that she would still rather die herself than wish him any harm.

That terrible impulse, that contemplation, was fleeting, nothing more than the buzzing fly of the Mizaran Arbiter of her past, easily squashed within a fraction of a second. She instead threw her arms around him and didn't let go for some time, until he finally spoke of hopeful lights on the horizon.