Beneath The Stars

JP with Omni and Lorem

The mention of a seed made Voah involuntarily reach for the necklace he had given her. Finally, Voah rolled off and together they laughed as they spread the bedroll out. Gods, she had missed him so much. There was no doubt this was going to be some adventure… full of hardships, hope, and discovery… she was in for it all.

Without a tent or fire, they would be sleeping unsheltered, nestled beneath the clear sky full of moon and stars.

She collected her sword, bow, and the staff they had found in the underground ruins and she set them beside their bed. They would keep them close at hand for protection.

Then Voah laid down to test out the nest. It would have to do for now. And the next night… and the next… until they were far enough away to make a better shelter and eventually, she hoped… a home? Something she was unaware that, until recently, she even desired. Those words and plans had gone unspoken between the two of them.

And now, although they were enjoying each other’s company again, she felt a sense of loss and tension between them. The Odsier girl he had met… Voah didn’t want to know… and yet, she did. She could string some of the details together and paint a vague picture of what had happened based on his remarks. The tribe had sent him away because he wasn’t good enough or he didn’t belong. Clearly the girl had a different opinion and couldn’t do anything about it. For now, if she didn’t bring up the subject, they would both perhaps sleep easier.

Voah could not blame him in the least for what had occurred, but it almost felt like she had missed the boat with Gonyaul… like he was a reluctant participant in the relationship. She knew what it was like to have her heart split… but it wasn’t the same as what he was going through.

As he lay next to her, she gently massaged and stroked his ears and his jawline.

Gonyaul truly welcomed her soothing touch, his neck craning so that he could press into her caresses. He was still struggling with shame and a sense of worthlessness. It was keeping him from snuggling closer and engaging physically with her, even though he wanted to; he felt strangely isolated and alone. Voah would be able to tell because when he wasn’t he was able to hold eye contact; however, when the doubts grew again he would look down and away.

In the back of his mind he was reciting the words written all over his body, so that his heart might believe the truth again and brighten instead of darken. Voah’s affirmations, and those of Dargarg and the message from Tiponi’s brother had helped start him on this road to recovery. It was his primary love language after all.

He whispered, “I thought never see you again.”

She tried to think of the right words… “I know… I was afraid of that too… My mind has been tormented… at war with itself for months… being trapped under a mountain didn’t help that.

I have been a very selfish woman and my sins have been stacking. I have no good excuse for hurting you except that I was angry, confused, afraid… and I wanted to protect you from everything about me. You deserve so much better.”

He nodded into her hand. He understood now what it must feel like to be at war within, it was a difficult and relatively new experience for him. It was also tricky and exhausting. ‘how do people function at all with such feelings of choas?’ he silently questioned.

His eyes warmed with empathy. It seemed the less he thought about himself, the more himself he became.

He didn’t agree with her words, ‘you deserve so much better and protect him from everything about her’.

“I wanted you then.” His brow furrowed unknowingly expressing his frustration with why she didn’t listen to him then. He spoke in past tense, referring to before she had her change of heart, so that she would realize it wasn’t her change of heart that altered what he was about to say.

“I still want you now.” Gonyaul seemed able to forgive others as easy as breathing.

She looked into him and shuddered, drinking in the air between them. She put her thumb on his lip and nuzzled the side of her nose against his, then she whispered the Mizaran words, “Ya jajo uuen” upon his mouth.

She probably should have given him more time to heal but she was still a self-serving person and she wouldn’t be content with walking in some other woman’s shadow.