Just Not Good Enough

The time finally came for Gonyaul to be tested by Tiponi’s father Tocho. He came to retrieve Gonyaul to join in the day’s hunt with him. As they rode off, including her brother, Tiponi couldn’t help but be anxious after watching Gonyaul ride earlier. Sure he was improving quickly, but her father was expecting perfection. Her mother and sister tried to comfort her; however, it was not helping.

Indeed Tocho judged Gonyaul’s bareback riding skills at average and subpar when maneuvering for hunting. Gonyaul was not nearly good enough for an effective hunter and definitely not fitting for his daughter. He was already looking harshly upon him because he wasn’t of Odsier blood.

When it came time to hunt Gonyaul was an epic failure compared to even the youngest and most inexperienced Odsier hunter in the party. In fact, Gonyaul made it difficult for even Tocho, a magnificent hunter, to get a kill. Tocho considered Gonyaul practically useless trying to use a bow and weak when using a spear.

Gonyaul kept a humble and brave face on the ride back once the hunt had come to an end. He was trying his best not to look defeated. Tocho berated him loud enough for most of the other hunters to hear. It wasn’t yelling in wrath, it was shouting to inform Gonyaul, and every other man present, that Gonyaul was not even close to being a good enough provider for his daughter and he would not approve of her entertaining the foolish prospect any longer.

For the first time, Gonyaul was thankful he didn’t know exactly what was being yelled at him. He definitely felt the message.

Tiponi’s younger brother rode in ahead to try and give some type of warning with his apologetic expression. It was obvious once the family saw the look on their father’s face it had gone badly. Tiponi’s eyes began to water and she buried her head into her mother’s nurturing bosom.

Tocho forced Gonyaul back to his horse Amu. And made a scene of disassembling the betrothal tent that his daughter had constructed. Tiponi could barely contain herself to watch from a ways off with the rest of her family.

When the father returned to his family, leaving Gonyaul dejected and embarrassed in front of the others of the tribe, the mother began to plead with him. She was trying to say that Tocho could train him, to give it a chance and not to ruin this opportunity. Their daughter had been passed over so many years already by the other Odsier males and this was her chance at happiness and a family of her own. Tocho would have none of it, even when the conversation with his wife turned into a very heated argument. His decision was final.

It would be a long time before Tiponi would forgive her father. She would not go against his decision though. To not have her fathers blessing meant that the rest of the tribe would see her relationship as illegitimate, they and any future children would be shunned and ostracized from the community to go against this. Her hopes and dreams were crushed.

Tocho believed he was doing this in love. His daughter would need an Odsier man who could protect, provide, pass on their ways and traditions. This boy, in his opinion, would be an embarrassment to their family line, tribe and a disservice to his beloved daughter and future grandkids. No, he would not have it.

Dorgarag, who had returned the other day from going back to build the funeral structures for his lost tribe, came riding back to the commotion when he caught word of it traveling up. He put a hand on Gonyaul’s back and shouted back at Tocho. Basically telling him to back off, he had said enough and they all got the message. The bonecaster looked sorry for Gonyaul and Tiponi, when he heard of the potential match he was actually rooting for it. Having just lost everything he was hoping some happy endings might still exist.

Gonyaul was shamed into silence. His eyes were watering, not because of Tocho but because he felt he let Tiponi down. He had tried his best and his best was measured as worthless. This whole damn world seemed to think the vaux were worthless. He was just not good enough.

Dorgarag tried to console the lad and express he could still travel with them. Gonyaul thought that would just bring more pain being present for both parties. He tried to compose himself and shook his head no to Dargarag.

Gonyaul was fortunate he was already packed for travel, as having to do that in everyone’s presence would have been painfully awkward. He rode over to Tocho’s family.

He bowed and signed his thanks for all they had experienced and his deepest apologies for letting them down, especially Tiponi. He tried using their language when possible, but most of it was in Vauxian. Tiponi wanted to run to him, to wrap her arm around him and never let go. She tried one last time to beg her father to reconsider. It was to no avail and Tocho would not permit her to step out from the family.

Gonyaul addressed Tiponi directly, expressing how she had shown him the true measure and standard of what real love looked like. It would forever be with him. He would never forget her, her lessons, and her kindness.

The traveling Red Hand tribe was never stopping as long as they were pursuing the caribou. Tocho forced his family to turn and follow the line. Gonyaul remained still.

Tiponi lost her love and the dreams she had allowed herself to hope after. Gonyaul could hear her calling out her last heartfelt goodbyes and wishes for his future to prosper to the magnitude of her joy for him, against her fathers wishes, until she was out of earshot.

It didn’t take long until it was just Amu, Gonyaul, a broken tent made out of the deepest desires and the present turning into his past. Gonyaul didn’t move for the longest time and just wept. This pain just added on top of the hurt he experienced when Voah rejected him. It stung deep because Tiponi did want him and he realized by the end what they could have been together too. It would have been glorious.

He was just not good enough.