Over the Top

<Feelin’ rougher, so this might not make perfect sense either. *Ace voice* I’m doing my best, dammut!>

Things had got crazy very quickly. The Terran forces had stormed the base and Jay and the gang had been whisked away from the holding cages and now found themselves in a trench behind the Holly tree, wearing gas masks.
As fire banged, zipped and whistled overhead and all around, the four littl’uns huddled together for comfort. Al tried to seem like he wasn’t frightened, but Plisken could feel him shaking.

“It’s okay.” Li’l Plisk reassured, in that comforting manner that only small children and old folk have about ‘em.
Al smiled his thanks.
“How’s your tummy ache?” Silky asked.
“All gone! Dun a spell.”
Clever Plisk, why hadn’t Al thought of that? He looked down at his sore belly and tried doing a spell to make it better. He thought it sort of worked but it still gurgled a bit.

“Lemon, you know that lady, don’t you?” Gummy Jaxx hiked his head towards the soldier woman. He’d seen how Al had looked at her.
The little white mage nodded. “Yeah. Think I kind of love her or something.”
“Is she your mom, dude?”
Al shrugged and prodded the woman who was peering over the trench, looking for Artie and his men and the weird creatures who’d breached the world. She looked down at him, irritated. “What? Can’t you see I’m busy here, kid.”
“Are you my mummy!?” Asked the gas-masked Al, somewhat creepily.
“No. Shit, incoming!” She let loose a barrage of laser fire.

“She said a swear.” Said Plisky, reminding Alex of Max. … Wait, who on Walnut Whip Island was Max?
“Guys, is that just fancy dress or can you actually do stuff?” One of the woman’s fellow soldiers asked. He’d been talking with Artyomn.
Al huffed. “We can do stuff.”
“Then we’re gonna need your help.” He nodded at Gummy and Silky “You too.” He turned to Jamie who was further down the trench. “You as well.” Jay opened his mouth to speak. “Yes, and you. Of course.”
Atyomn nodded. “That goes without saying.”
“Look who else I found lurking…” the soldier said.
A mini Jacky waved shyly from behind his back.

Jay whispered “The Dwarf Exiles… We are united at last.”
“Exactly.”
Jay gasped. It was a momentous occasion. “Combined, we have the power to overthrow Artie and gain the Keystone.”

“Yeah. And stop the virus.” Jamie said. Everyone looked at him. Virus? It was confusing for all. It half made sense but was half as alien as some of the scary creatures pouring into the world.

Eager to help, Gummy spoke up. “What do we have to do, dude?”
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to be very brave.”
The little ones exchanged a worried glance.
“I’m going to have to ask you to go… Over The Top.”

But, before they could, a mechanical beeping and whirring seemed to penetrate the air. ALL of the air.
Everyone fell to their knees and clapped their hands over their ears. “Aargh!!”

It became softer. Obviously whatever was making it had realised the volume was too loud. The strange sounds were almost like a language. Al could almost recognise it. It was there, just on the edge of thinking…

Suddenly the sky lit up, and a huge blue square flickered into life, as if a gigantic monitor was playing across the world. Everyone, Dwarf Exiles, soldiers, aliens, monsters, in-game characters, the resistance, the empire, Treguard, Marylou, they all looked up, entranced. Those in gas masks removed them, drawn to stare at the light.

Outside the game, Artemis’s Missus had put the video on, having wired it into the game so everyone could see it.
Inside the game, the “screen” crackled, as something began to play.

Everyone waited expectantly. After a moment, their senses were assaulted, as the screen lit up with the image of a man. He was wearing only cowboy boots and a leopardskin posing pouch. He had long hair and stubble and was dancing in front of a mirror to the noisy strains of the Shania Twain classic “man, I feel like a woman”.

As the strange being gyrated and thrust its way across the sky-filling monitor, Gummy clapped his hands over Silky’s eyes. She'd already covered her ears.

Al’s own eyes became the size of saucers. He looked at li’l Plisk “Oh no! That’s me as a-adult.” He swallowed, not knowing what to make of it. “Dats who I saw.”
Plisken’s resulting expression was unreadable.

Black looked up at the bizarre sight, it was almost hypnotic. The long haired creature was dancing provocatively and noisily claiming it felt like a woman. Despite the long hair – she sneered at its man-chest and posing pouch - it was not a woman. Not any type of women she'd seen, any way. For some reason, a distant part of her had the urge to maim the pouch’s contents.

Little Lemon thought he was going to pass out with embarrassment, luckily nobody apart from Plisken knew that the ridiculous man on the screen was him.

Unfortunately for Al, he suddenly recalled everything in a big rush, and the force of it caused him to transform back into his adult self.
“Oh noooOO!” He cried, his voice getting deeper as he grew taller. He wasn’t ready to be an adult again and, more than this, he didn’t want anyone to realise he was the stupid man in the video.

To add insult to injury, he’d transformed back into his jester’s outfit AND retained the silly cat cloak, which was now adult sized.
He crossed one arm over his stomach and, leaning from an elbow, held the hand of the other to his face in shame.

Back in the real world, The Missus cursed in binary and realised she’d put on “The Best of Holly’s Private Hoots Volume 5” instead of the footage she’d intended.

She grabbed the correct video and inserted it…

---
---
<TAG Artemis.>
Written quickly before 8pm phone call! Sorry, bit rough.