Cerachne

<snip>
"Uh, I hate to tell you this dudes..." Jaxx swallowed and everyone came to a halt.
"But there's a humungous spider with a double head on the ceiling. And it's double head is a double dog-head."
Solvay felt all the fur on his body stand on end.

The Dwarfers slowly looked up...
<snip/>

"Oh my science!" Artemis blurted. "It's magnificently horrific! It's as if Cerberus had a child with Arachne! I shall call you, Cerachne!" Artemis announced happily as the spider dropped from the ceiling. Jacky grabbed Artemis and pulled him away from the spider as it lashed out at him with a colossal leg. Jacky and Artemis dove behind a collapsed pillar, Alex was cowering behind it trying to pretend that a massive arachnid wasn't trying to kill them. "Well what are you doing here Lanky Locks?" Artemis asked. Alex gave him a cold stare. "Oh, that's right, you're mute....and terrified of spiders!" Alex retorted with an colder, narrow eyed stare. "Oh come on lad, it shows....it REALLY shows. If it makes you feel better, I'm terrified of the color Mauve" Alex's expression turned from angry to quizzical. "It's an unnatural shade of purple..pink..I don't even know! So in 2098 I made myself color-blind to it, it shows up as my favorite color, Cardinal!" Alex didn't know what to think of that, but based on his time with Artemis so far, it sounded like something he would do. "Now, what do you say we kill us a spider!" Artemis painted a colossal harpoon launcher. He picked it up and loaded the only harpoon he painted. "Uh, Artemis, are you sure that'll work?" Jacky asked. "Of course Mr. Kong! This isn't the first time I've had to kill a large spider, it took around eighteen tries to make Patches, and let me tell you....they were nasty little creatures!" Artemis took aim for one of the heads and fired, the harpoon made contact and created a gorey mess. Some of the Dwarfers were sickened by the debacle and proceeded to gag, some vomiting. Before Artemis could gloat, two more heads grew in the dead one's place. "Nice hit Artemissio! But you need to kill all of the heads at once!" The dungeon master's disembodied voice said. "Oh come on man! That's the Lernaean Hydra! Cerberus didn't grow extra heads, get your damn facts straight!" Artemis raved, tossing the launcher aside. "Does anybody have a new plan?" Jacky asked. "I think I have one, keep Cerachne distracted while I whip this up" Artemis said.

<Tag>
How does the spider get distracted and by whom, and what does Artemis paint?