Excuse Me While I Whip This Out

<SNIP>
"Uh, Artemis, are you sure that'll work?" Jacky asked. "Of course Mr. Kong! This isn't the first time I've had to kill a large spider, it took around eighteen tries to make Patches, and let me tell you....they were nasty little creatures!" Artemis took aim for one of the heads and fired, the harpoon made contact and created a gorey mess. Some of the Dwarfers were sickened by the debacle and proceeded to gag, some vomiting. Before Artemis could gloat, two more heads grew in the dead one's place. "Nice hit Artemissio! But you need to kill all of the heads at once!" The dungeon master's disembodied voice said. "Oh come on man! That's the Lernaean Hydra! Cerberus didn't grow extra heads, get your damn facts straight!" Artemis raved, tossing the launcher aside. "Does anybody have a new plan?" Jacky asked. "I think I have one, keep Cerachne distracted while I whip this up" Artemis said.
<SNIP>

Jaxx turned and looked to Evelina and asked, “Umm Eve babe please tell me you have a radical spell for this.” Evelina quickly began flipping through the pages of her spell book in a panic as she muttered, “Umm….ummmmm…..ummmmmmm.” Jay began flipping through his bible for any holy enchantment he could find, but all he found were blessings. Alex tried to say something but found himself at a loss for words. Jamie said, “I’ll buy some time so hurry.” Then Jamie managed to distract the giant spider as it slowly crawled toward him. Jacky tried to play a song but his lute popped a string and said, "Awww man!" Plisken was not in the mood to seduce a giant spider as he slowly backed out of the room. Jaxx saw that Evelina was having trouble finding a spell that wouldn’t kill the whole group in the process as he said, “Too bad we like don’t have a giant can of bug spray.” Artemis then smiled as he said, “We do now!” as he painted a huge six foot can of RAID Bug Spray. Then Artemis said, “Quickly Jaxx we don’t have much time.”

Jaxx quickly picked up the huge can of bug spray and aimed it at the giant spider as he yelled, “Time to bale Jamie dude!” Unfortunately Jamie backed himself into a corner and was in the line of fire as he said, “Uhh a little help guys.” Jade quickly turned around and grabbed Plisken’s hand and yelled, “Its Showtime Plisken! Get that thing away from Jamie and towards Jaxx.” Plisken rolled his eyes as Jade forced him towards the front. Then Plisken sighed embarrasingly as he hiked up his skirt to show his leg and say, “Hey their big boy. Won’t you come and see me some time.” The spider stopped in its tracks and began salivating as it turned and headed for Plisken. Alex bolted out the entrance to hide and Jade quickly followed him out of concern.

Plisken slowly stepped back behind Jaxx to get out of the way and said, “I would advise you all to get back.” The others stepped back behind Jaxx and his huge can of bug spray. Jay said, “Alright Jaxx spray him NOW!” Jaxx slammed his hand on the nozzle button and nothing happened. Jaxx repeatedly hit the button but no spray came out. Everyone gave Artemis a nasty look as he yelled, “It not my fault!” Suddenly the giant spider leapt in the air to pounce on Jaxx. Jaxx saw this and quickly used the can as a shield. Evelina yelled in fear, “Jaxx look out!” As the spider pounced onto Jaxx it quickly tried to bite him and ended up clamping down on the nozzle of the bug spray. In that moment the giant spider’s eye bulged as if it were in pain. Suddenly the spider began to shake and swell like a balloon as it was filled with the entire contents of the can. The crew just watched as white foam began oozing out the spider’s eyes, nose and mouth before it was blasted up into the air like a rocket. The force was so immense that the giant spider flew through the ceiling and disappeared.

Dungeon Master Tregard appeared as he said, “A most inventive way of dealing with household pests. You have done well this round and are now entitled to the Chamber of Boridium. Once you are rested up you will continue down the hall till you get the entrance of The Succubus Club, but I must warn you that place is not safe for the weak of heart, mind or body. You will tested by a barrage of temptations.” Jacky asked, “And if we give in to temptation, what happens then?” Dungeon Master Tregard looked at Jacky as he smiled and said, “Then I would bid thee farewell young Minstral.” Dungeon Master Tregard walked behind a corner and disappeared. After the crew began soaking their feet in the enchanted waters of the fountain, Evelina asked Jaxx, “Are you ok Jaxx? That spider was kinda scary.” Jaxx smiled as he said, “Maybe a little Eve babe, but I totally couldn’t have done without you.” Evelina asked, “How did I help? I couldn’t even find a spell in time.” Jaxx chuckled as he said, “I totally got the idea from a commercial we saw between your movie nights.” Evelina blushed as she nuzzled next to Jaxx.

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