It's all 'Me Me Me'. P1.

“Hey man, I don’t have a problem with gay guys or anything!” Alex held up his hands apologetically, then quickly snatched at his sheet again as it began to drop. “Really,” he squeaked, as his pursuer closed in. “They’re great!”
He shuffled backwards through the sand “I mean, my brother’s gay for a start...”
“Shhh” soothed the confusingly delicious Djedefhor, reaching up and putting a finger to Alex's lips.

The boy-beauty had trotted after him for what felt like an hour, but was really about ten minutes.
Confused, achy, bare-footed Alex wasn’t currently at his speediest and the desert native easily caught him up, outside the large stone building where they now stood.
“I told you, I am not what you call ‘gay’, Master Alexander.

Alex backed towards the building, feeling a little out of his depth. He could face down killer simulants without breaking a sweat, ride giant death worms alongside a whooping FeBuggure with a mere roll of the eyes, fight a Huzard in micro-grav, while wounded, without a moment's hesitation, but a beautiful boy trying to seduce him and he was more bewildered than Billy Buffalo of 69 Befuddlement Boulevard, Bafflebridge.

Djedefhor slid the fragrant finger over Alex's bottom lip, flipping it playfully. It flumped closed with a blup. “Anybody is free to love anybody else in this land.”
Alex considered this. “What…" he mumbled "you can sleep with someone else’s wife and that's okay?”
Well, maybe that wasn't so bad...
Djedefhor shook his head, glossy mane bobbing elegantly with the movement. “Eh, no. What I mean, is that a man being with a woman is normal..."
Alex gave a slight nod, stiff and awkward at Djedefhor's uber-close proximity.
“... And so is a man and a man, or a woman and a woman.”
“Yeah” said Alex, wishing the wall wasn't behind him so he could back away further. “So? That’s the same in our land.”
“Ah yes,” Djedefhor smiled, briefly flashing his teeth “but here they are not called - or thought of as - separate things. It is all one and the same.” He pronounced ‘the’ like ‘thee’.
“… Ah. Right.” Alex nodded again, with a tight lipped, polite smile. “Cool. Well, best be getting back to the tents and the others now then.” He made to push past but Djedefhor shoved him gently in the stomach and smiled again, khol rimmed eyes demonstrating equal smoulder as any khol rimmed female eyes Alex had looked into – and he’d looked into a fair few.
He swallowed, hard.
The other man then tiptoed to press his lips against his own. “Mfff…” Alex's eyes widened and he thought he should probably push him away.
He felt himself closing his eyes instead.

“Get your hands off 'im, servant. Poor guy looks confused as hell.”
With a yelp, Djedefhor was yanked off Alex, and thrust unceremoniously to one side. “Hey!”
“Go on, gedahtofit!” Instructed the ‘rescuer,’ or ‘ruiner’ depending on your take.
A dopey Alex opened his eyes to the sight of a man - who from the rear seemed to be smartly dressed in a modern uniform and boots - shooing the younger man off. Alex blinked in both relief, and possibly partial disappointment, as Djedefhor scampered off, back towards the tents.
After sending the servant away, the newcomer turned, with a Loreal ad worthy flick of his floppy-but-smart, cheek length light brown hair.
“Hello Alex!” Said Alex, his face lit with an amiable smile.

What... The. Fuck...

---

Some people say that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness, but since Alex had already left signs two and three for dust, this probably wasn’t much of an issue. The two almost identical men kicked up little clouds of sand as they walked and 'chatted'.

“So you’re another me?” Alex asked,
“Yep.”
“That’s… Weird.”
“Yeah.”
“How does that work, then?”
“Same person, but from different dimensions.”
“What, a different universe?”
“Something like that.”

It was a lot for anyone to take in, let alone someone in Alex’s currently fragile mental state. He did quite a good job, really, remaining both calm and collected. This was either a pretty impressive display of placidity, or merely a sign of just how numb and battered his mind was.

“Don’t worry about the slave-boy trying to kiss you,” Alex Two suddenly reassured “he was only trying to make you happy. Things're different here.”
“Slave? Thought he was a servant.”
“Not everything is what it seems. Tell you what, mate..." he shot Alex an aquamarine squint"... it’s really lucky I found you.”

---

They walked on in silence for a while, Alex snatching glances at the other him.
It was so bizarre walking alongside yourself, like being with your brother, or your cousin, only… mind blowingly… far more similar, because it was you. Actual you. Same height, same exact hair colour – except Alex Two’s had more streaks from the sun - same cheeks, same eyes, same nose. Face… everything. Like a freaky 3D motion mirror model. Did they have the same soul, too? Was it like having a clone? Alex wondered many things about the other Alex, the most pressing being:

“You cut your hair.”
Alex Two shrugged. “Yeah, Seymour liked it better this way.”
Alex raised his eyebrows, shocked the other Alex would bother changing his hair for Niples. He’d told his Seymour to smeg off every time he’d suggested such a thing.
Huh. Perhaps he’d been a bit rude to Seymour, then. Maybe he should apologise when they got back to the Dwarf. Alex Two seemed way more relaxed and together than Alex felt, maybe Alex should aspire to be more like him. He seemed all right... Pretty cool. Nice, even.
“Where are we going?”
“Taking you to my place,” said Two in his rich, mellow, way “I want to protect you.”
Alex frowned. “Who from? Is it those Holos? Or the Roo?”
Alex Two looked around, as if checking they weren't being watched, then smiled. “I’ll tell you everything when we get there.”

------

Alex Two’s Place

They were sat in chairs in a large, cool, stone room - Two’s quarters, apparently. The other man was pouring a drink. Alex took the opportunity to examine his counterpart. He looked roughly the same as Alex had when his hair had been a lot shorter, but there were subtle differences; He was not pale like Alex, instead he had a smooth brown tan – not the smattering of freckles Alex had collected from Fernandos, over his spaceship-pasty face. The other Alex was sturdier too, better muscled, well nourished, as if he looked after himself - or was looked after - better than our toned but currently pretty lean Alex. If they were animals at market, Alex Two would be described as being ‘in better condition’. His sturdier build even made him seem somehow taller. His face was less drawn, he was clean shaven, his hair was sun-kissed with golden streaks and he had a confident, healthy, air about him. Alex felt a little inadequate. He snapped out of his examination, Two was about to speak.

“Al – can I call you Al?” He began. “‘Course I can, I’m you…” he stated, all charming and relaxed of voice and manner.
“Uh… I guess.” Alex took a little sip of the herbal tea Two had just passed him, and screwed up his nose. “Eugh. Don’t you have anything stronger?”
Alex Two laughed openly, exuberantly - not all shy, withdrawn and inhibited like our Alex.
“No, Al, I don’t as it happens. I gave up drinking a long time ago. That stuff’s for losers, right?”
“Oh.” Embarrassment throbbed keenly through his chest and he suddenly felt stupid. “… Yeah.”
Two’s face fell. “Wait… Don’t tell me you’re still…”
“What? Dri-”
“An alcoholic!?” Two grinned, proper grinned, displaying dazzling white teeth which would put 21st Century motorhound - and enthusiastic tooth whitener - Richard Hammond to shame. Alex didn’t think there was anything to smile about.
“Ain’t an alcoholic.”
“Yeh, think you’ll find you are, Al. God. Pathetic.”
It was a kick in the nuts to be told, by yourself, that you were an alcoholic, and what did he mean by ‘pathetic’?
... As for ‘God’…
“God?”
“Yes, God.
“God singular? Figure of speech is it?”
“No. There is only one true God, Al. And that is Ra, our most gracious and merciful sun God.”

The way he said ‘Al’ was starting to grate on Alex's nerves, and there was something edgy and weird about the sentence he'd just spoken. Alex swallowed, beginning to wonder if he was the unhinged one, after all.

His pondering was interrupted as a servant brought in some more 'tea' on an ornate tray and placed it on the table between them. Alex Two leered unashamedly over her, almost losing his eyes in her caramel bosom. He grabbed her and pulled her in for a kiss. Alex made a face as he saw an over-the-top flash of tongue. Then, as the woman departed, Two gave her a very hard slap on the rump.
Alex blinked. Other-him might be charming and (even if he did say so himself) handsome, but he was starting to seem like a bit of a prick, too.

<To be continued very shortly, in Part 2... Coming up...>