Alex In Wonderland

"Elrond... you say?" Alex blinked in disbelief.

There was an awkward silence.

It was broken by Davie snorting loudly. Alex stood on his foot.

Seymour screwed up his nose. "Who's Elrond?"
"He told you, an elf." There wasn't a hint of humour in Alex's tone.
"An elf? Oh great, we're on a flaming spacestation about to hurtle into a city sized mining ship, not on a magical hunt for fairy dust in the land of enchanted mushrooms."
Alex thought again about the powder in his pocket. "Not that kind of elf."

"Come on! I need to get knurd!" Phil urged them.
"You already look pretty nerd to me."
Gomez glared. "Seymourrr, hyou're not helping."
Alex knew how to stir him up "Can't see any of us voting for you after this, a leader would take control, eh?" He nudged Gomez.
"Uh, si! Si!"
"Give me a chaaance!" Whined Niples.
"All right, you can start by taking us to wherever you found that coffee."

Seymour guided the group to an oddly proportioned messroom off the side of the corridor they'd stumbled into. There was a kitchenette, complete with oversized yet homely sugar, tea and coffee jars. Alex shrugged, facially. “Unexpected.”
“Curiouser and curiouser” muttered Gomez.

Phil sat down. "Okay, Knurd me."
Alex dug around under the sink till he found a plastic bottle and pipe. He quickly fashioned them into a crude funnel and popped the end into Phil's mouth.
"All right, brace yourself. Seymour, if you would..."
Seymour gingerly tipped some of the coffee into the makeshift funnel.
"'ooree!" Phil beckoned.
Seymour poured it down with a bit more gusto and Phil's body jerked as he took the vast amount of caffeine on board.

"Phase one, complete." Said Alex, trying to sound like he knew what he was doing - Seymour was proving to be more useless than a single Glade Plugin at the annual meeting of the flatulent Fervent Fried Food Fraternity.
"Well, what else can we do?"
"Water? Cold water..."

"Way ahead o' ya there!" Davie and Gomez charged towards Phil carrying a massive water cooler between them. They'd pulled the cap off.
"Stop!" Commanded Davie.
They did, the water didn't. A huge wave flew out of the vessel and broke all over Phil, Seymour and Alex.
"OHhhh, yeah! That's the stuff!" Phil was becoming sober.
Alex also enjoyed the sensation of freshness, Seymour however was fuming. "How DARE you! I doubt it was even real spring water."
Alex looked the drenched Phil up and down "Ha! Ever see Flashdance?"

Justin smiled and pointed out Phil's erect nipples.
"Oh get a grip, Pancake. NO, not on those!"

Alex's wet clothes were drying already. “Geez, it's gettin' hot in here.” He stomped over to a vending machine and bashed it. A Toffee Crisp and a milkshake obediently rolled out.
He shoved half of the chocolate bar into his mouth and spoke as he chewed.
"You knurd yet Phil?"
“Murderers. Traitors. You would call upon them to fight? They believe in nothing. They answer to no one” came the reply.
“Yep it's starting to work. What's next, Niples?”

The lights flickered off and Seymour screamed. After a few seconds they came back up, revealing that he'd leapt into Davie's arms. Davie screamed himself and dropped him. Justin grinned.
The lights flickered off again. This time when they came back up, all that was left of Justin was the grin.

Alex tossed the remainder of his chocolate across the room. “Smeg. The fire's up here already. Must be frying the circuits, systems are failing.”
Gomez nodded “Si. There's clearly not enough power in this sector to sustain Justin's form.”

Davie hiked his head towards the creepy isolated grin. “Heh, check it out... Cheshire Prat...”