You What?

Where : The Parrotts Bar
When : Just after Phil was resured
Whom : Jay, Phil, and NO KEBABS!
Jay pratically had to chase Phil to Parrots. The speed he ran at would ave a
cheetah go "dammmmmm".
"What the hurry?" he called, running after Phil.
"Will...explain...in ...a....sec...need....to...do...this...." and with that
Phil did a flying leap in parrots bar, went flying over the bar,
and crashed head first into the barrel that was kept behind the bar "in case
they needed to drug miniphil" on ladies night.
There was a sound best describbed as GLUG GLUG GLUG
"Jay, " said Phil as he surfaced from the beer, "I NEVER want to see a kebab
again...serously...i'm sweatig chilli sauce.."
Jay was stunned. "Look mate i know you not the real Phil, cos my Phil would nevr
say something like that..but who ARE you...really?"
Still drippin beer, Phil sat, well, squelched, down. He then started to count.
"5..4..3..2..1.." at 0 MP droped down from one of the ventaltion shafts head
first..sadly getting his head stcuk in the snooker table.
"Was wating for that..he like clock work with me isnt he...didnt want to repeat
myself."
As the bar staff tried to remove the midget from the table, Phil began his tale.
"As far as i can tell, my universe are yours is primarly the same. Excpet for
one Major, MAJOR difference.
Seymour Nipples. The man led the mime wars across the known universe. We think
it the divergence hapnened not long after he was posted
to The Tarten Sprite, what we called this ship in my universe."
Jay almost coughed up the Pringles he was eating. "Seymour... you have got to
be kidding.."
"Not after what he did....not after what he did...Tara.......*sniff*...anyway
where was I? oh yes..
The Mime Wars
At some point, Seymour Nipples tuned evil...VERY evil. He stole some
experimental Hymoneptra techonology and tried to fame Earth.
It backfired, the Hym actualy started working WITH Earth. In return for allowing
them to settle on planets we would have no interest in,
they helped terraform the ones we did, provided medical technlogy and bio-ships.
Heck , in my universe, you Jay was one of the first pilots
to vollenteer for the bondng procedure. As the ships aged and the pilots grew in
skill, they helped turned the war..If it wasnt for you guys , and you
espically, we wouldnt have won the war. Your a hero to the alliance.
But you made one mistake. You showed mercy to the one person who didnt deserve
it. And he escaped. How I dont know, there was rumours you helped until Keto ,
who was..is i should say.. one of the best undercover cops my quadrent has ever
seen, proved it wasnt you, but a bio-duplicate. The clue was he was caught
drinking babycham at the ambasadors reception one day."
"What about you? you seem..diffrent..and the beer hanst made you think you are
Satan.. if anything it made you more...focused.."
"Well from what i can tell, when i'm drunk I seem to think I'm that guy who
played Spock from that show about the gelfs allthose years ago.. You know the
one, had the cheerleader in it, the flying guy. Anyway it seems I still go evil,
but no strength, no demonic tendancys, but i do gain teleke..telekin...can move
crap with mind. But only when drunk. Hey i was locked in the fridge a long
time..had time to go through notes and do stuff"
Jay simply gave him a weird look. He then waved over Efof who was in the bar,
as Phil was starting to worry him. Plus it looked like the peanuts were starting
to move on their own towards Phil.
"Hi Jay, Hi Phil..PHIL! Your back" Efof ran over and gave Phil a hug. Then
stopped as Phil was giving him a look like he just offered him a kebab.
"Who are you?" asked Phil staring at the Ffionian.
"Efof. Efof Yuwanker".
At was at this point Phil punched him clean out.
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