Jayne:- \'Clones\'umerism

Apologies for recent lack of postage guys. Had a shite couple of weeks that ended up with me off work sick with guts that couldn't contain anything (at either end)  for more than five minutes....
 
What a lovely story eh?
 
Who:- Seymour, Keto, Rosette, Justin, Jayne
Where:- M&S lingerie department
When:- Shortly after Seymour lost his trousers.
 
"Seymour!" Jayne said
"Um..yes?...and that's 'ambassador!' Honestly, manners cost nothing you know!"
"Mousey's out of the house." Jayne replied, as she turned away to gauge the landscape that was before her.
"What...?" Seymour asked quizzically. Rosette, Keto and Justin all pointed downward toward Seymours crotch. Seymour followed suit, and swiftly re-adjusted his underwear to conceal 'Little Niples'.
"So where to?" asked Keto.
"I'm guessing there'll be a power socket behind the counter..." Rosette said "I say we head there...."
"Easier said than done I think..." Jayne said "Look.....it's right over the opposite end of the place, at our size, we're looking at a few hours of walking..and lugging the psi-scanner with us, it's not gonna be easy, especially wearing these boots and this smegging skirt......"
"Well!" said Seymour "You'd better get to it then! UP!" he shouted as he jumped atop, and straddled the scanner, one arm extended, pointing the way.
"Remind me to prescribe him the most unpleasant ointment I can come up with when we're back to full size.." Keto muttered.
"Hold on..." said Justin "What's that noise?"
"What noise?" Rosette and Jayne asked simultaneously.
"That kind of...whirring, sucky, vroomy noise..."
"What kind of...whirring, sucky, vroomy noise?" Keto asked.
"The only kind of...whirring, sucky, vroomy noise...." Justin replied.
"I don't hear anything!" Seymour snapped. "Look, stop making excuses, alley-oop!" He smacked the Psi-scanner as though it were a horse and he were holding a riding crop.
"No, wait" Jayne said "He's right, something's coming."
She dropped her corner of the Psi scanner and turned around. Looming over them, and heading toward them at a high speed was a cleaner...pushing a vacuum cleaner, right in their direction.... 
 
<tag>

From: cptonion
Sent: Tuesday, August 25, 2009 3:55 PM
To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Seymour - "Escalator Adventure"
 
Who: Seymour, Justin, Keto, RosetteWhere: PromenadeWhen: After last post<snip>Seymour looked back at the Psi-scanner that Keto had promised could detect the base of the mysterious terrapins that kept appearing. "There's a power socket in Marks and Spencers across on the other side of the Promenade."Jay nodded. "Take it. I need to clean myself up."Seymour nodded, then wondered how on earth they could carry a large piece of plastic gadgetry if they were only three inches tall.<end snip>The door to Parrotts bar opened and no-one came out. After a short time, it could be noticed that a single Psi-scanner seemed to crawl by itself out of the sliding doors, and make and uneasy turn left, then travel down the Promenade towards the Marks and Spencers, wobbling as it did.Underneath the device, Dr Keto, Justin, Rosette and Jayne carried a corner each. Whilst Seymour rode on top shouting directions."The left hand side is tipping. Keep it straight chaps!" Seymour commanded from the top. Suddenly he felt himself falling forward as all of the four underneath tipped the device. Seymour rolled onto the ground. "That was totally uncalled for!" He scolded. "I was merely giving tips for guidance.""How about you try lifting it!" Said Rosette."Yeah, it's bloody hard work." Said Justin. "And I've just been violently ill. I should probably have a lie down.""Back to work!" Seymour ordered.Nobody moved out of rebellion.Seymour looked around him, trying to spot their destination. The Promenade had never looked so large. It was a massive shopping centre, all on one street that stretched the entire length of the Blue Dwarf. Hundreds of off-duty crewmembers were milling around, neither of them seeming to notice the tiny people on the floor.A giant foot almost squashed Justin. But he happily looked up her skirt after he noticed she had some sexy ankles. He almost feinted with pleasure."No knickers!" He swooned.A giant flip-flopped man almost stood on Rosette, causing her to roll to the side to avoid it. Rage got the better of her and she felt the green Hymenoptera blood inside her start to boil. Quickly she felt her arm change into a sharp insects claw, and she did a feral leap towards the offending man's ankle. She slashed into the skin, sinking her tendril right into the flesh. Luckily due to her size, this was only like an insect bite to the man. The sudden shock did make him jump up and down on one foot for a while though."Stupid Human" Rosette hissed, before she caught herself and she quickly changed back into a Human."Change of plan chaps." Seymour announced. "The Marks & Spencers entrance is closed on this level. We'll have to go to the first floor entrance.""How? We're tiny, we can't manage stairs!" Justin said.Seymour pointed to the escalators.Escalators normally are a welcome break for tired shoppers. You can continue to move, without having to spent any effort. But for a person three inches tall, an escalator was like a sliding metal meat-grinder.Seymour gulped.They pushed the Psi-scanner towards the escalator and hopped on. Taking care not the avoid the massive gap between steps."What happens if we fall down there?" Seymour asked.Dr Keto shook his head morbidly."Don't push the psi-scanner onto the edge-!" Seymour shouted, but it was too late. Justin the nitwit had pushed their device too far and had left it on the crack between two steps. As the further step started to rise, it tipped the psi-scanner over on top of Seymour."Get it off me!" he cried.They managed to slide the device off Seymour by the time they had reached the top, and the steps were starting to flatten out again. "Get up Seymour quick!" Rosette shouted. She was on the step above and could see the end of the escalator approaching. Where the moving platform slid into the static walkway at the top there was a tiny gap that is harmless to Humans, but potentially deadly to very small Humans.Rosette jumped from the escalator onto the floor effortlessly, whilst Justin did the same thing but lost a shoe. His shoe was dragged under and into the inner-workings of the escalator."Nooo!" he shouted, trying to put his hand through to save it, but Rosette pulled him back. "Stop! It'll drag your entire arm under!" She said.Seymour was still on his back, and had barely got up when the escalator plunged into the solid floor. The bottom of his trouser got caught in the gap and started to pull him under."Help! Help! It's got me!" he cried out as the escalator threatened to pull him into the one centimetre gap.Rosette and Justin grabbed hold of him to make sure he wasn't fully pulled under, but even they had trouble. Rosette even thought that he'd loose a leg for sure, and if they waited long enough they'd see it smeared over several steps when they came round again.The escalator only claimed his trousers however. It sucked the straight from his legs and left his underpants exposed to the public. Everyone laughed his tiny Y-fronts.They all continued into the department store, passing the men's department where Rosette shimmied up onto a clothes rack and knocked down a pair of pristine white boxershorts which landed on Seymour and almost crushed him."I appreciate the thought, but these are a trifle too large." Seymour shouted back.Rosette just laughed.They crossed over into a different department of the store...<Tag, where next?>