Damage Report (oh crap)

OOC - Ok im back after settling into my A-levels and as the senior
engineer i've decided to detail the curent status of the Blue Dwarf.
Note: All content (including the death of McJohn, the Blue Dwarf
damage report and my promotion) was all approved and asked to be
included in this post by Onion. So don't give me any crap like my
last post!
Who: Callum 'CK' Kochanski
Where: Damage Control
When: Now
CK had only just been released from sickbay and still had a pounding
headache. However his first instict was to find out how badly Blue
Dwarf had been hurt. Even on his way to the engineering sections he
could see that it was as bad as he had feared, maybe worse. The
gleaming whit coridoors had been reduced to a burnt, dirty grey and
almost every general computer terminal gave the same messages
of 'ERROR' or 'NETWORK CONNECTION FAILURE'. Some places of the ship
hadn't even been accessed since the battle and with the heavy
casualties there was no one around to clear up the mess.
When he reached Damage Control Callum activated the main monitor and
went to work trying to find some information on the ships critical
systems.
"Holly," Callum called out as he sat down. "Do we have any status
reports on..." Callum stopped as he saw the screen light up in front
of him, it read...
'HOLLY HAS PERFORMED A ILLEAGAL OPERATION AND MUST BE CLOSED'
Callum slammed his fist against the desk before pulling the keyboard
in front of him and then pressed CTRL, ALT and Delete. He then spent
20 miniutes waiting around for scandisk to finish before Holly
apeared.
"Alright dude" the gormless computer said as he reappeared on the
screen where Kochanski had been working.
"Holly, I need a full damage report" CK said without mucking around
with the pleasantaries.
"Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a game of minesweeper?"
"No Holly" said CK, getting slightly pissed off, "I'd just like that
damage report please"
"Your not gonna like it"
"I dont care if im gonna like it or not, I just need to see the
damage reports" said CK, "Now give it to me before i decide to stick
you in the recycle bin along with the rest of the goat porn that
Mini-Phil has been downloading"
"Ok, ok, but you really aren't going to like it..." Said Holly as
the damage report machine started to print out the list and
Kochanski read it in horror.
Main Fusion Reactor - Offline
Auxuillary Power Generators - 60% efficiency
Wormhole Drive - Disabled
Main Engines - Disabled (Insufficient Power)
Thrusters - Online (yay!)
Weapon Turrets - Destroyed (Oh fuck!)
Hull Armour - 30% intact
Life Support - This one's pretty obvious isn't it? (Online)
Internal Security/Sensor field - Offline
Waste Recycle syster (The crapper) - Online
Drive Room Ice Machine - Broken
As Kochanski finished reading the list, It began to dawn on him how
damaged the Blue Dwarf actually was, and how nobody else had
cottoned on to it yet. He had to get this to Alota or to whoever
else had taken command since he had been in sickbay....
<Later>
Kochanski stepped into what was now Phil's office, clutching the
damage report in his hand.
"What is it Kochanski, can't you see i'm busy?" said Phil as he
continued working at his computer console.
Kochanski merely dropped the damage report onto his keyboard. "This
is it" he repsonded as Phil looked at the piece of paper. "Its a
full damage report for Blue Dwarf"
Phil began to read the report, his eyes gradually widening as he too
began to realise how damaged Blue Dwarf was.
"Not the Ice Machine!!!" exclaimed Phil.
"Forget about the Ice machine! Don't you know what this means!?"
said Kochanski, "It means that we're up a shit creek without an
engine"
"Weren't you engineering boys meant to fix this!?" said Phil,
astonished.
"Which engineering Boys?" said CK, "Aside from me and Winters
there's nobody competant enough in engineering to change a smegging
lightbulb!"
"What about McJohn? Where's he?"
"He's dead, didnt you even read the casualty report!?"
"No I didn't, I've got better things to do, so just get on and fix
these things!"
"Well who's gonna be in charge then?"
"You are ok!" Phil said as he slammed his fist on the desk. "From
this point onwards you're now promoted to chief engineer, now get
the hell outta my office!"
CK left the captains office and proceeded to the nearest Comm port,
pressing the button for shipwide speaker.
"Attention all engineers, report to main briefing room"
<Tag Winters, or anyone else in the engineering or Flight
Engineering departments>