A Quiet Conversation

When Astra returned to her quarters, she found Thrawn waiting for her. The journal had been closed and placed on the desk, but its presence was unmistakable. Her stomach twisted with apprehension.

“You read it,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. It wasn’t a question.

“I did,” Thrawn replied, his tone calm but without his usual air of detachment. “I did not intend to invade your privacy, but I also cannot ignore what I saw.”

Astra lowered her gaze. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like I’m not trying. I just—”

“I know,” Thrawn interrupted gently. He stood, moving to face her. “I understand far more than you might think.”

Her eyes flickered up to his, searching for meaning in his words. “You do?”

He clasped his hands behind his back, his posture straight yet less imposing than usual. “Do you know why I was sent to the Empire, Astra?”

She shook her head, confused by the sudden shift in topic.

“It was not merely to serve the Ascendancy,” he continued. “It was a test. A demonstration of loyalty, brilliance, and adaptability. Success meant honor for my family and advancement for the Chiss people. Failure…” He paused, his glowing eyes narrowing slightly as if peering into the past. “Failure was not an option.”

Astra’s breath caught. She had never heard him speak so openly about his past. He always seemed untouchable, as if nothing could shake his confidence or control.

“It is not so different from your position,” he said, his voice softening. “We both bear the weight of others’ expectations, and we both push ourselves harder than is wise to meet them. But I learned, through painful experience, that perfection is a fleeting illusion. No matter how skilled or brilliant, no one can shoulder such a burden alone.”

She swallowed hard, her fingers curling into fists. “But I don’t want to let anyone down. Least of all you.”

“And I do not wish for you to destroy yourself in the process,” Thrawn replied, stepping closer. “Your value lies not only in your abilities, Astra, but in who you are. You still have the capacity to hold onto your humanity, to balance duty with self-preservation. That is a strength I envy.”

Her brow furrowed at his words. “You envy me?”