JP - Vulnerable

The moment they were gone, Colt said, “I…I’m sorry…” He forced the words out.

Tzeitel’s shoulders stiffened at how obviously the words were forced. She still could not meet Colt’s eyes and looked at the floor. “I thought we were friends, Colt.” Tzeitel almost whispered the words.

“We are,” He answered. “But I…Never mind. Just pretend I never…ugh…” Colt couldn’t think of how to properly word his thoughts. All he wanted to do was pull her into a hug and tell her exactly how he felt, but after what happened, he was sure she’d just reject him again and again.

Tzeitel wished she could just pretend Colt had never kissed her, but she couldn’t. She still looked at the floor. “I thought you stopped feeling that way when you chose Feng.”

“Just because I care and love someone else doesn’t change my feelings for you,” Colt spoke in a more serious tone. “I chose Feng because it kept me from trying to…it made me more capable of ignoring how I felt for you, but with everything that’s happened, learning the truth, I…” He went silent and let out a heavy sigh. “Just…I can’t seem to change how I feel, Tzeitel…I’ve been trying, but any time I’m even pretending to have interest in another girl, she can’t compare to you…they’re all just prissy little blonds that complain about a fucking broken nail.”

“This whole time?” Tzeitel felt kind of betrayed, her shoulders tightened more. She had trusted Colt, had her guard down around him, hugged him, she had felt safe around him. “I didn’t know… I thought you had gotten over me.” She wished Colt could just move on. “Have you ever tried women that weren’t blonds, or prissy?” Tzeitel wished it could be that easy.

“I’ve tried dating other women, giving them chances, but nothing ever clicks. I let them drag me to their place, but you know what happens? Nothing…I thought Feng could distract me. Having a son distracted me and God, I fucking loved that kid, but…” He looked away and hid his face, the loss of Bao getting to him for once. “I can’t trust anyone else but you, Tzeitel…” His voice shook.

Bao! Tzeitel’s eyes filled with tears. Bao was just a baby, barely started life and that crazy bitch took him with her. “I’m sorry, Colt.” Tzeitel still could not look at him and stared at the blurry floor. She was sorry about more than just the death of his son. She wished she knew what to do, what to say. She felt lost and like she was losing her oldest friend.

“I’m still me, Tzeitel…it’s still Colt Westerly, idiot wind user that will always protect you, okay?” Colt told her, turning his gaze back to Tzeitel. His hair shifted, revealing that his right eye was also covered with bandages, obviously ruined by the burns. “I’m always going to love you and cherish you…I can’t change that…”

Tzeitel was still looking at the floor, feeling terrible, and like a terrible person. “I don’t know what to do.” She admitted.

“We don’t have to know what to do…” Colt told her and sighed heavily. “Tzeitel…look at me, please…”

Tzeitel nervously touched her neck scars and forced herself to look at Colt. He looked so vulnerable.

Colt just gazed at her, his vulnerability on full display for once, proving she was the only person he truly trusted. "Tzeitel, I…I can't lose you too…okay?" His voice hitched at the very thought of losing her. It would devastate him if he had seen her dead or horribly injured again. The day Canestone got her had been bad enough, but seeing what he'd done to her…it had killed a part of Colt that day and he had lost control on those soldiers.

He had proven on so many different occasions that he loved her, yet he refused to push her for it in return. The kiss had been a slip up on his end and he was afraid he'd lose her because of it.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Tzeitel nervously ran a finger over one of the larger neck scars left behind when Canestone tried to force the collar off her. “But I’m not what you want me to be, I can’t… I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re everything to me, Tzeitel!” He blurted. “You don’t need to be what I want you to be! You’re already perfect just being you! I love you for who you are, damn it!” Cringing in pain, Colt had to fall back onto the bed and grabbed at his burnt side.

“Dammit.” Tzeitel swore when she saw that Colt had managed to hurt himself. “I’m not what you need… Can’t you see how fucking one-sided this is?”

Colt took in slow and deep breaths, frowning. “You only say that because you can’t love someone back, can you…?” He asked, biting back the pain.

“I love you but I can’t love you the way you love me.” Tzeitel hated seeing Colt in pain. “Do you need me to call the doctor?”

“I’ll be fine!” Colt snapped and wind burst through the room, breaking equipment and sending objects against the wall. It was less about the physical pain and more about him trying to control his emotions.

“You’re not fine! Stop that! Dammit.” Tzeitel could remember when all they had was Frisk and her med bag, that equipment looked expensive.

Colt had to calm himself down and looked away, not wanting Tzeitel to see the pain on his face. “I can’t turn off my emotions…I can’t stop how I feel anymore…” He whispered.

“I know.” Tzeitel could hear the pain and felt terrible. “I don’t know what to do.” She felt like panicking.

One of the medical staff walked in and saw the mess. “Uhm…Miss, why don’t you step outside. We’ll handle this.” They said calmly.

Tzeitel looked towards Colt. She felt like she was running away. “Okay…” She said regretfully, feeling like she was losing another friend. She left the room and began looking for a gym or alcohol.

Colt wanted to stop her, but when he turned, a jolt of pain shot through him and the medical staff had to assist him…

Tzeitel walked away from the med ward to some stairs. She knew they kept a lot of smuggled alcohol in the cellars, so she headed for there.

Frisk turned up in Colt’s room right after Tzeitel left. She helped the other medical staff with Colt.

Colt stared at Frisk. “Tzeitel left…” Was all he could whisper.

“Shit.” Frisk could tell Tzeitel had not left this room on good terms. “Did anyone see where she went?” She texted Klaire ‘Do you know where Tzeitel is?’ she wondered if she should check the gym or wine cellar first.

From Klaire: ‘She’s not with Colt?!’

‘She left. His room is a mess.’ Frisk messaged back, deciding to check the gym first since it was closer. Unfortunately it was in the opposite direction of the wine cellar.