RE: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Niples+Jack \"Feathered crustaceans\"

Who:- Callum, Jay, Hymenoptera troopers.
Where:- The planet
"We've been walking for hours!" Callum moaned, leaning against an amusingly
shaped cactus, he looked at the plant and realised he was leaning against
something that resembled a green, pointy penis.
"And this planets too gross to wanna spend more time here than we have to."
Jay sighed heavily, his patience wearing thin.
"Look" he snapped "The sooner we find someone the sooner we can force them
to help us so we can get of this planet and I CAN GET AWAY FROM YOUR
INCESSANT WHINGING!"
"Sor-RY!" Callum replied "Just saying is all..." a penny dropped
"Wait...what do you mean "force them""
"As in make them help us whether they like it or not, you simple Kochanksi?"
"We cant FORCE someone who doenst want to help us?"
"Well we'll just have to make them WANT to help us then won't we?"
"What?!....how?"
"By threatening to wipe them out if they don't......" Jay trailed off, one
of the Hymenoptera guards has spotted a settlement just the other side of
the genital-shaped cactus field.
Callum saw it.
"Jay...." he said "NO! I won't let you intimidate them!"
"AND WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO TO STOP ME EH?" Jay snapped, grabbing callum by
the collar as he did so, somehow managing to lift him off the ground with
his left arm.
"I'M IN COMMAND HERE AND YOU NEED TO START REMEMBERING THAT!" he tossed
Callum aside, like a ragdoll, slamming him against a cactus.
"Oof..." Callum exhaled as he hit the plant. "Whats gotten into you Jay?"
"Just shut up and come on, we're gonna ask this settlement
some.....questions...."
<Tag callum or anyone>
-----Original Message-----
From: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com
[mailto:JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of Onion
Sent: 29 June 2005 23:51
To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Niples+Jack "Feathered crustaceans"
<snip>
"I could've sworn Alota said search the area in pairs"
"what? does that make a difference? no one follows her orders to the
letter anyway" Seymour said, "and anyway, can't we just split into
pairs now?" he added, smiling.
"shall we?" Jack said, looking around at the alien landscape.
<end snip>
Who: Seymour and Jack
Where: On the Planet
When: 20 minutes later
Seymour had set off with Jack to explore the planet for assistance
or spare Starbug parts. They both looked back at Starbug which had
crashed between two hills. Jack pointed at the twin peaks and raised
an eyebrow, a dry grin spread across his face. "Hey doesn't that
look like… "
Seymour raised an eyebrow.
"…it looks like… especially with the little peek of the bush in the
trough…"
Seymour's eyes widened and he looked in shock at Jack for suggesting
what he was suggesting.
"Good grief man! Is there anything but pure filth in your mind?"
"Well I'm just saying…"
Seymour shook his head and walked ahead.
They crossed a dry barren-looking dessert that seemed to never end.
Jack kept spotting curious looking peaks and pointing them out;
Seymour kept on shrugging and trying to distance himself from his
search partner.
As they entered a tight valley with high walls on either side,
Seymour got an odd feeling they were being watched. A noise from
behind made them both stop and turn around.
A bizarre looking creature popped up from behind a rock and scuttled
over to them. The word `bizarre' barely even fits this creature. It
seemed to have the body of a brown feathery bird with six red
spindly legs. This on its own would have been odd, but Seymour and
Jack looked further up the creature's plump body to see it also had
some large claws and boggling eyes on sticks.
"Oh my god what's that?" Asked Jack.
The creature took a few steps towards them.
"I'm not sure if I should be scared of it and run, or break down in
tears and laugh at it!" Said Seymour.
Jack turned around to see more of them, spreading out to surround
them. They were all flexing their crustacean-like claws. "Well I've
made my decision." Said Jack, ready to run.
"Me too" Said Seymour, then pointed at one and started mocking it.
Jack rolled his eyes. "That's not going to help!!"
"Why not?"
"Well they don't look too friendly…"
"You can't be scared of them, look at their boggly eyes!" Said
Seymour, and walked over to one and poked it in one of its eyes-on-
sticks. The crab/bird creature recoiled in pain. Seymour laughed.
The feathered crabs surrounded them fully. Seymour and Jack looked
for an escape, there was one. So they waited for someone to speak.
"Sooo…" Said Seymour, eager to break the tension. "Is there anyone
we can talk to?"
The feathered crabs stood in silence.
"Go on Seymour, use that `famed' Ambassadorial techniques on them.
Maybe they're eager to join the Royal commonwealth!"
Seymour nodded.
"I am Royal Ambassador Sey-" He started but one of the crabs stepped
forward and cut him off.
"We are the Crustythrush. We saw your ship crash an-"
The feathered crab was suddenly cut off by Seymour. "Sorry, what was
that again?"
"What?" Said the crab.
"Your name."
"We are the Crustythrush!"
"That's what I thought you said." Said Seymour and then started
laughing.
The Crustythrush started looking at each other. "Excuse me?"
Seymour stopped and wiped a tear from his face.
The lead Crustythrush pushed forward and put a claw around Seymour's
neck until he gargled. "Come with us. Our leader wants to meet you."
The other feathered crustacean grabbed Jack and bundled both the
humans begrudgedly into a pink bus that was parked over the closest
ridge.
The lead crab climbed aboard and ordered a subordinate to drive.
The engine started and the pink bus started moving and drove into a
tunnel.
<Tag Andy!>
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