***ACTION*** Starship Frenzy

This post brought to you by the infamous team of SMAndy and Onion.
Who: Efof and MK6
Where: Enterprise Engineering control
When: Whilst fighting on the bridge
Efof returned into the main engineering control room where MK6 had
just finished planting the explosives next to the holographic warp core.
"Did you get him?" Asked MK6.
"Get who?"
"That Reg Barclay guy that you were chasing."
"No… well he's such a wimp he just ran off. Can't be bothered to chase
him." Said Efof.
"Ok, I've finished setting up the explosives. We have 15mins to get
off the ship. We need to inform everyone on the bridge."
Efof nodded with a big grin, and voiced into his walkie talkie.
"Attention Blue Dwarf crew, the egg is laid, repeat, the egg is laid."
MK6 looked puzzled. (or as puzzled as a skutter could) "Why couldn't
you just say you';ve planted the bomb? Has Easter gone to your head?"
Efof shrugged. "This sounded cooler."
Efof turned to the random engineers that were stood watching them with
their hands up. He systematically started shooting them. He shot ones
on the balcony above and laughed as they fell off and broke their
necks on the floor.
"What are you doing, that's really callous shooting them in cold
blood!" Said Mk6. "I thought you're from a prefect planet where
there's no wars or fighting!"
"I just thought we shouldn't keep them alive, one might disarm the
bomb when we leave. They're only holograms anyway!" Efof said and shot
another in the groin, who fell to his knees in simulated pain then
deleted itself.
"I guess you're right." Said MK6. "Okay, I've informed everyone else-
they should be evacuating now."
Efof and MK6 left the engineering deck and headed towards the
shuttlebay where they had parked the Space Eagle.
On their way they came across a figure laying in the corridor. It
looked to have tripped over some bare circuitry.
"What the frell is that?" Efof said, looking at the figure. It was
very large, vaguely humanoid, and had the head of a wolf.
"Ergh, its all furry and stuff." Efof said descriptively. "Now, I
havn't seen many episodes of star trek so do you think its one of the
holographic crew?"
"Dunno." Said MK6. "Why don't you shoot it and find out"
"Good idea." Efof shot the furry humanoid with the holographic weapon,
but it didn't disappear like any other hologram would, instead it
stood up quickly and in mild pain. Electricity fuzzed around its body.
"What the hell are you doing?! That thing's just fuzzed up my fur!"
Said the man/wolf thing. Efof looked mildly embarrassed. "Sorry about
that, I thought you might have been a hologram."
"I'm one of your crew!" he said, before introducing himself as Vanth.
"Sorry mister Vanth… its just you looked so weird…"
"Says you, you've got four arms, no nose and what the hell is that on
your head?!"
Efof readjusted his beanie hat and blushed.
Vanth continued. "Anyway, its not `mister' if you don't mind."
"Sorry, erm… miss." Efof tried, although the hairy creature really
didn't look much like a female.
"No, neither male or female, but a little bit of both."
"Ah… so your what the humans call… a Tranny?" said Efof.
Vanth fumed and snarled at the Ffionian.
MK6 suddenly decided to change conversation. "Ok guys…. Erm.. guy and…
well lets just get off this ship before it blows!"
They headed towards the Enterprise's shuttlebay.
Back in the Enterprise's engineering, Lt Reg Barclay came back into
the room and tried to disarm the explosive that had been left on the
warp core. He pulled off the casing and pondered cutting the red wire
or the blue… red or blue... red or… The stress got to him and he
panicked. He cut the red and the Warp Core exploded.
---Meanwhile, back on the bridge.----
"Ok guys, everyone out!" Jack yelled, pushing everyone back into the
raven. He opened up the comms channel through his nano's, to Mk.6's
built in radio. "how long till the bomb goes?" he asked.
"5 minutes" came the reply, "get everyone out of there" he added.
Jack looked at the raven, the group of people getting on it. Just
before he was going to get on, the ship rumbled.
In true star-trek style, he looked into nothingness. "computer, what
was that?" he asked.
"that was the warp core exploding" said the computer, completely lax,
as usual.
"WHAT!?!?!?!" he yelled.
Deans voice came through the raven's loudspeaker, "come on jack! get
on!" he called.
"no! i've gotta make sure everyones off!" he called back. "go! i'll
steal a shuttle!" he said, checking the internal sensors.
The raven blasted off into space,leaving Jack behind, on the bridge.
nothing but a holographic forcefield protecting him from the hard
vacuum of space.
Who: Efof, MK6 and Vanth
Where: Shuttlebay
When: Right before the explosion
Vanth found the Blue Midget that s/he'd come in, and flew it out of
the shuttlebay. Mk6 wheeled itself all the way into the Space Eagle
and awaited Efof at the helm. He rotated his head around but Efof had
gone. He appeared a few minutes later with a big grin on his face.
"What were you doing?" asked MK6.
"Well I just saw the Argo back there… and I've seen it in that one
Star Trek film, it's the one where Picard drives about on that buggy
thing, I think its some human mid-life crisis or something…" Efof
started the Space Eagles engines and started to take off.
"…so I put a tow rope on…"
"On the shuttle?"
"…no…"
MK6 swivelled its head around and looked behind, they were flying out
of the shuttlebay with the Argo buggy tethered behind.
"You can't be serious! You know its only a hologram, you can't keep it!"
"Yeah I know, but I have a feeling it might come in handy within the
next few hours!"
Behind them the drive section of the Enterprise exploded early. Efof
looked behind, "That's not supposed to happen yet!"
MK6 turned the Space Eagle's monitors to the TV frequency, there was a
running commentary by the TV presenter `Mike Hunt'.
"The Blue Dwarf crew have crippled the Enterprise, but can they get
their own people out in time?! This will test their ability under
pressure. And speaking of pressure, we don't like our contestants to
get too complacent so.. whats this… ANOTHER ship is joining the
battle. It's the Battlestar galactica, from the 1970's TV series, how
will the crew cope against this holographic foe?"
"There's more?!" Asked MK6.
Efof rubbed his hands together in glee. "Cool!" but suddenly got
worried when wing after wing of Vipers launched from the Galactica and
surrounded them.
---back on the bridge---
"computer, are there any members of the blue dwarf on board?" Jack
asked, while not a trekkie, he did know quite a bit about star trek.
"afirmative, sixteen crewmembers in the saucer section" came the
computers voice.
"sixteen?!?!" he yelled, his mind trying to figure out a way to save
everyone.
"can we use the transporters to put everyone on the Blue Dwarf?" he asked.
"no, the saucer section transporters can only handle fifteen people
before the core goes critical"
"well then, is there anything we can do?"
"There is only one posibility, separating the saucer section will
preserve the lives on board." the computer said.
"DO IT!" he yelled. "authorisation required" the computer said.
"SMEG!" Jack yelled again, and thought of the best person for this
job. Not an engineer, as most people would think, but an alien.
"Efof!" Jack yelled through the radio. "how do i bypass the command
codes?" he asked.
Efof rattled through a complicated procedure, but just in time, the
saucer section broke off, and was thrown through space by the force of
the blast. Jack saw the Battlestar Galactica through the "viewscreen"
and smiled.
"Efof, get that ship near to the battlestar, i'm gonna need a ride."
he said, jumping onto the helms position, and plotting a course into
the battlestar.
While it flew, he got into an escape pod, and readied himself to evacuate.
"computer, RAMMING SPEED!" he yelled. getting into the escape pod.
"This is Jack FeBuggure" jack said, over the shipwide communicators.
"evacuate now! make your way to the nearest escape pod and get the
smeg out of here! Run, don't walk, we have very little time!" he said,
before pressing the release button, and firing himself into space.
<taggers!>