RE: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Growing older,

sorry sohuld have mentioned, that was a jp between me and onion!

-----Original Message-----From: Andy Longman [mailto:sirlagerlot@...]Sent: 24 October 2004 14:39To: Blue DwarfSubject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Growing older,Who:- Jay, Dean, PhilWhere:- Robert Chrysler's workshop"The perfect sample!" Jay's father said as he observed the DNA samplesrecovered from Phil's parents under a microscope. "I've merged the two andit's a complete copy of your own DNA"Phil looked up from his 'Playgelf' "Hmm? Oh great! can we get started!""Certainly! Now strip naked and get in the machine!"24 hours laterJay and Dean walked up Jay's garden and reached the door to the workshop"Man I hope this worked" Jay said "Hate to think we wasted 3 days ofdrinking otherwise...""Know what ya mean" Dean said, he was especially impatient, after all theonly reason Phil and Jay had managed to convince Alota and Tara to let themspend the entire duration of shore leave having a 'lads drinking holiday' asopposed to spending time with them and their families was to "help dean getover Jasmine"That was the excuse they'd given, in actual fact, they just waned to godrinking.The Workshop door was opened from inside, before Jay and Dean and had achance to knock, and Jay's father stood there, an enormous grin on his face."It worked!"From the shadows, emerged, the now fully clothed, Phillip Febuggure, 28years old."Good to have ya back man!" said Dean"Definitley!" said Jay "Now we can go drinking again!""ON WITH THE HOLIDAY!" said Dean"I know this great club on Mars" said Phil "Seeing as how or global pubcrawl fell apart...""Sounds good to me!" said Dean, whipping out his mobile to call a taxi,these days taxi fares were phenomenal costing nearly a tenner to get toMars."You're losing your hair...." Jay said, looking at Phil.LATER ON MARSWho: Jay, Dean, Phil and now EfofWhere: The Crater Nightclub, MarsWhen: Mars eveningJay stood at the bar waiting to be served a drink, he drummed his fingers onthe bar. The dance music thumped away in the background.Efof suddenly bounced over with an extremely ornate cocktail in his hands,one with multi-colours, curly straws, fruit pieces and cocktail umbrellas.Efof had a big grin on his face.“Look what I got!” He beamed proudly.“Big girl!” said Jay.“Speaking of big girls…” Dean said and turned away as someone approached. Itwas Seymour, he looked slightly different, his normally pristine hair wasmore scruffy and his general demeanour was slightly more relaxed.“Hello Seymour.” Jay said unenthusiastically.“Alright Dudes!!!” Seymour almost sang. “Whats happening? Anyone fancy adrink?”Everyone’s mouths almost dropped open. “You…. Are offering to buy a drink?”Jay asked shocked.“Yeah no problem, I get Royal funding- it might as well get enjoyed!” SaidSeymour smiling and pushing past them to the bar. Where he clicked hisfingers until the barman came over. “Drinks for my fellow colleagues here,and a pint for me please.”“I can’t believe he’s buying drinks!” Said Dean.“I can’t believe he’s just ordered a pint for himself!” Said Jay. “What’swrong with the man? Maybe we should send him to see Cerebrum.”“Ooh, that’s harsh!” Said Phil.“It IS Seymour!”“Oh yeah.”Seymour handed out the drinks and joined the gang. There was an awkwardsilence, Seymour had never socialised with them before. And if he had evertried he’d been arrogant, rude and condescending.“So guys whats going on? Any fit totty around?”“Erm..what?”“Totty!” Said Seymour. “Any fitties to chat up?”“I always thought you were ga-” Started Dean before Jay elbowed him in theribs with a smirk.Seymour suddenly held out a hand to stop a girl walking past. “Hello Ma’am,you don’t know me but I’m an Ambass- erm… famous snowboarder! I want you tomeet my good friend Dean here… he’s single.”“Seymour!” Said Dean embarrassed. He shook the girls hand and mines hisapology at her for the embarrassing situation Seymour had now created. Therewas a moment of silence as no-one spoke, then the girl sighed and walkedoff.“Seymour that was really embaras-”“Oh good song!” Said Seymour as the music taste suddenly changed and ChesneyHawks’ ‘I am the one and only’ started. Seymour started doing some kind offunky dance and pushed his way onto the stage and raised his hand into theair and danced.The Blue Dwarf crew cringed and looked in other directions.“Do you know him?” Asked a passer by in the busy nightclub.“Erm… no of course not!” Said Jay.“Something is very wrong with him, has he gone mental or something?” SaidPhil.“Its some kind of personality transplant-” Said Efof. “He said he did it tofit in better. Its not going too bad so far really…” Efof tucked into hissecond cocktail that Seymour had bought him.On the stage in front, dancing Seymour picked up a microphone, swung itround his head and then announced into it: “I want to do a huge shout-out tomy good friends on the Blue Dwarf! There they are!”He pointed in their direction.Everyone in the room stared at the Blue Dwarf team. “Okay we need to dosomething, even the old twatty Seymour was better than this annoyingbastard!”“Come up on-stage and join me!” Called out Seymour. The Blue Dwarf teamquickly scattered....Protecting the universe from the scum of the Earth...www.BlueDwarf.co.uk-View the Blue Dwarf guide to the galaxy!Your number one resource in all things Blue Dwarf related!