Growing older,

Who:- Jay, Dean, Phil
Where:- Robert Chrysler's workshop
"The perfect sample!" Jay's father said as he observed the DNA samples
recovered from Phil's parents under a microscope. "I've merged the two and
it's a complete copy of your own DNA"
Phil looked up from his 'Playgelf' "Hmm? Oh great! can we get started!"
"Certainly! Now strip naked and get in the machine!"
24 hours later
Jay and Dean walked up Jay's garden and reached the door to the workshop
"Man I hope this worked" Jay said "Hate to think we wasted 3 days of
drinking otherwise..."
"Know what ya mean" Dean said, he was especially impatient, after all the
only reason Phil and Jay had managed to convince Alota and Tara to let them
spend the entire duration of shore leave having a 'lads drinking holiday' as
opposed to spending time with them and their families was to "help dean get
over Jasmine"
That was the excuse they'd given, in actual fact, they just waned to go
drinking.
The Workshop door was opened from inside, before Jay and Dean and had a
chance to knock, and Jay's father stood there, an enormous grin on his face.
"It worked!"
From the shadows, emerged, the now fully clothed, Phillip Febuggure, 28
years old.
"Good to have ya back man!" said Dean
"Definitley!" said Jay "Now we can go drinking again!"
"ON WITH THE HOLIDAY!" said Dean
"I know this great club on Mars" said Phil "Seeing as how or global pub
crawl fell apart..."
"Sounds good to me!" said Dean, whipping out his mobile to call a taxi,
these days taxi fares were phenomenal costing nearly a tenner to get to
Mars.
"You're losing your hair...." Jay said, looking at Phil.
LATER ON MARS
Who: Jay, Dean, Phil and now Efof
Where: The Crater Nightclub, Mars
When: Mars evening
Jay stood at the bar waiting to be served a drink, he drummed his fingers on
the bar. The dance music thumped away in the background.
Efof suddenly bounced over with an extremely ornate cocktail in his hands,
one with multi-colours, curly straws, fruit pieces and cocktail umbrellas.
Efof had a big grin on his face.
“Look what I got!” He beamed proudly.
“Big girl!” said Jay.
“Speaking of big girls…” Dean said and turned away as someone approached. It
was Seymour, he looked slightly different, his normally pristine hair was
more scruffy and his general demeanour was slightly more relaxed.
“Hello Seymour.” Jay said unenthusiastically.
“Alright Dudes!!!” Seymour almost sang. “Whats happening? Anyone fancy a
drink?”
Everyone’s mouths almost dropped open. “You…. Are offering to buy a drink?”
Jay asked shocked.
“Yeah no problem, I get Royal funding- it might as well get enjoyed!” Said
Seymour smiling and pushing past them to the bar. Where he clicked his
fingers until the barman came over. “Drinks for my fellow colleagues here,
and a pint for me please.”
“I can’t believe he’s buying drinks!” Said Dean.
“I can’t believe he’s just ordered a pint for himself!” Said Jay. “What’s
wrong with the man? Maybe we should send him to see Cerebrum.”
“Ooh, that’s harsh!” Said Phil.
“It IS Seymour!”
“Oh yeah.”
Seymour handed out the drinks and joined the gang. There was an awkward
silence, Seymour had never socialised with them before. And if he had ever
tried he’d been arrogant, rude and condescending.
“So guys whats going on? Any fit totty around?”
“Erm..what?”
“Totty!” Said Seymour. “Any fitties to chat up?”
“I always thought you were ga-” Started Dean before Jay elbowed him in the
ribs with a smirk.
Seymour suddenly held out a hand to stop a girl walking past. “Hello Ma’am,
you don’t know me but I’m an Ambass- erm… famous snowboarder! I want you to
meet my good friend Dean here… he’s single.”
“Seymour!” Said Dean embarrassed. He shook the girls hand and mines his
apology at her for the embarrassing situation Seymour had now created. There
was a moment of silence as no-one spoke, then the girl sighed and walked
off.
“Seymour that was really embaras-”
“Oh good song!” Said Seymour as the music taste suddenly changed and Chesney
Hawks’ ‘I am the one and only’ started. Seymour started doing some kind of
funky dance and pushed his way onto the stage and raised his hand into the
air and danced.
The Blue Dwarf crew cringed and looked in other directions.
“Do you know him?” Asked a passer by in the busy nightclub.
“Erm… no of course not!” Said Jay.
“Something is very wrong with him, has he gone mental or something?” Said
Phil.
“Its some kind of personality transplant-” Said Efof. “He said he did it to
fit in better. Its not going too bad so far really…” Efof tucked into his
second cocktail that Seymour had bought him.
On the stage in front, dancing Seymour picked up a microphone, swung it
round his head and then announced into it: “I want to do a huge shout-out to
my good friends on the Blue Dwarf! There they are!”
He pointed in their direction.
Everyone in the room stared at the Blue Dwarf team. “Okay we need to do
something, even the old twatty Seymour was better than this annoying
bastard!”
“Come up on-stage and join me!” Called out Seymour. The Blue Dwarf team
quickly scattered.