what the smeg?

The courier ship flashed into existence from the rapidly diminishing
wormhole and flared briefly blue white from the flashes of the
ongoing space battle. On board Mortimer Plank, also known
as "beaker" to friends and enemies, cringed from the view port. what
the smeg was going on? he quickly brought up the comm net and looked
through all the entries
"space battle....Hymenoptra (what ever they were but they sounded
like they had serious PMS issues)...bugs..evasive actions!!"
This wasn't right. Wasn't he supposed to explore strange new worlds
seek out new civilisations, to boldly go...no wait that wasn't it.
well whatever it was he was better of finding a safe place under Blue
Dwarf and hiding till he could figure out whom was shooting at whom
and of course who was winning. He careened around a wildly spinning
bug, dove under an obliterating hymenoptra fighter and took up a
parking station under the nose cone of Blue Dwarf. He figured if
anything was going to come at him- it would be caught by the ion
field and rapidly broken down into its atomic bits and pieces. He
then settled down to await the putcome of the battle