RE: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Keto\'s Worst Nightmare

Who:- Jay, Tara
Where:- Medi-bay
 
“SO?” said Jay, rubbing his
arm where Tara had just taken a blood sample.
“Give it a few minutes for Christ sakes!”
Tara replied
“Alota’s rubbed off on you..you never used to be this impatient!”
“What are you talking about?!
Patience is my middle name!”
“Yeah…and Mini-Phil’s
got no sex drive”
“Are those things supposed to hurt
like that?” Jay asked pointing at the syringe Tara had used to take his
blood sample
“Oh for crying out loud it’s
just a little prick!”
“I was talking about the blood sample,
not Dean…”
A machine on the wall behind Tara bleeped and began
printing on a thin strip of paper.
Tara tore it off and glanced at it.
“WELL?!” Jay asked
“Well, you were right to come for a
second opinion, you’re NOT Cerebrum’s father, you’re Chrysler
through and through, I’ve even cross checked it with you’re sister’s
records, you and Vanessa share the same genes, you and Cerebrum however,
probably wouldn’t even share a Starbug.”
A wide grin spread across Jay’s face.
“YES!” he yelled “THAT’S
FANTASTIC!!! Tara I could Kiss you!”
“Holly” Tara said “Project
Doctor Cerebrums hologram in here would you?”
Cerebrum appeared, wearing nothing but
golf shoes and a golfing glove, holding a putter.
“What the hell am I doing in here?!”
he moaned as he materialised “Do you realise you’re interrupting important
blackmail….er I mean Psycho-therapy, Oh jay it’s you! I see you
still haven’t followed in my footsteps and become a psychiatrist YOURE NO
SON OF MINE!”
“You’re right, I’m not!”
“What?”
“Blood test prove it Doc” Tara said, waving the vial of
Jay’s blood.
“Well of course you’re not! I
knew that all along but Keto altered my holo-program! It was all his fault!”
“Why don’t I believe you?!”
“You think I’d WANT you as my
son?!”
“If it meant you could torment me
yes….”
“Well..truths out, I’ll be off
now…”
The tree dashed passes the medi-bay, followed
by Wildflower and followed again by Keto.
“Hol” jay asked “what’s
with them?”
“Wildflower’s in love with the
tree…and Keto with Wildflower, could be wrong but I think its something to do
with everyone on the bloody ship being on heat!”
“Love virus” Tara pointed out “Viral
scanners picked it up”
“Holly…..do me a favour…”
 
Minutes later where Cerebrum’s
hologram had been now stood Jennifer Wildflower, Holly, at Jay’s request had
loaded her holo-image in place of Cerebrum’s hidden the ‘H’ for
authenticity and set him to hard-light, Cerebrum’s mind still in place. The
tree could be heard coming back down the corridor, Shriek-rustling down the
corridor, Jay leant out the door as Wildflower passed grabbed her and pulling
her inside, and pushing Cerebrum out into the corridor in her place. Cerebrum
turned, and saw Keto, lust-crazed thundering toward him, love in his eyes, Cerebrum
said nothing, just turned and ran….
 
“And THAT my friend, is justice”
smiled Jay  
 
 
 
-----Original
Message-----From: lucky_coincidence [mailto:lucky@...]
Sent: 10 February 2004 14:58To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.comSubject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Keto's
Worst Nightmare
 
Who: Keto, Wildflower, Big
Pink TreeWhere: MedibayWhen: After returning from Plebe============================  Keto was sat in his favourite place in the
whole wide world - behind his desk, separated from the rest of the
crew by his office door.  He was still kicking himself over the fact
that he hadn't managed to procure any of the Plebian super-power
producing rock from its moon...but since the choice had either been flee
or be killed, it hadn't been an option.  Even so, it was a
pity.  Keto was running through the medical
manifest of the ship.  By now he had a shortlist of about fifty or so
crewmembers whom he could presumably easily convince that they were the
spawn of disliked human beings (most of them, in fact, being
Cerebrum).  If the psychiatrist agreed, he was sure that the two of them could run
a lucrative blackmail-adoption agency.  The only problem
would be explaining how, precisely, Cerebrum had fathered all these
children.  Some plausible explanation involving time travel, cloning and
four gallons of plasma would have to be thought up.  Keto paused and looked up as there was a
brief hissing from the office air vent and the viral monitor light
blinked uncertainly, before turning back to a steady green.  "Stupid unreliable equipment,"
muttered Keto, then frowned as he felt a faint tingling at the back of his
throat.  He coughed slightly and it vanished.  "Strange..."  The buzzer sounded.  Keto had decided,
upon returning, that if there was one thing his office needed, it was a
buzzer that could be sounded when people wanted to enter.  The buzzer sounded again.  Because then, of course, he was free to
ignore it.  The buzzer sounded again, and again, and
again, and again, and again and again and again again again again
again...  "ALRIGHT, DAMN IT, COME IN!"
bellowed Keto, his patience finally snapping, but not looking up from his work. 
The door swished open.  *RUSTLERUSTLERUSTLE!*  "I don't care if Wildflower is chasing
you," snapped Keto, still not looking up, "Why would I care?"  "*Rustlerustle...rustle......"
continued the Tree.  "Don't be absurd," continued
Keto, still flicking through the papers, "Firstly, you're a tree and nobody
could love a tree.  Secondly, you're you, and nobody could love
you."  The Tree muttered something in...well,
Tree-ish.  Keto had had enough practice to recognise sarcasm in any
language, so he growled and looked up - but the moment he chose to do so
was just that moment at which Wildflower dived through the door,
tackling the Tree.  "Tree!  My love!" she cried
as it wobbled and fell over.  Unfortunately for Keto, the first thing his eyes
met as they rose from the paper was the face of Wildflower. 
He blinked.  "This is bad," mused Keto's mind
as he stared at her, bewitched.  "This is very, very bad," it
continued, as he unconsciously dropped the sheaf of papers he was holding and stood up
slowly.  Wildflower was trying to help the Tree up, while the Tree was
trying desperately to get away.  "HELP ME!" Keto's mind yelled, as
the Tree bounded out of the medibay, shrieking in Tree-ish, followed by
Wildflower who was trying to embrace it, followed by the hapless Keto who
found himself compelled to follow her.====================OOC: Somebody help me here....Protecting
the universe from the scum of the Earth...www.BlueDwarf.co.uk-View the Blue Dwarf guide to the galaxy!Your
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