The beerhunter: The long, The short, and The pissed

<clip>
Phil, still staring at his hand was wandering what they ment by "I'l
be
enjoying the autopsy on the tall one" being spoke behind him when a
bottle
of Jack Daniels Finest was shoved into his hand and Keats's head was
pulled
up and another drink was shoved into his....
"You know, that looks a lot like John Keats…and Phil…SMEG IT IS THEM!"
"Friends of yours?"
"YES! I've gotta stop this! They're inno….well….they probably ARENT
innocent but whatever they did they probably didn't know any
different!"
<end clip>
The bottle was rammed into Keats mouth, he felt reeeallll pissed, and
hed only had a glass ad a half of the wine....
He took 3 long gulps and looked up and around, it occured to him that
he could see himself on a large screen.
'Hey... Shir... Phil! hehe, shmile were on TV..' His gut let out an
almighty groan and he vomited, people cheered and a small child
photographed him, before running off to find his mum.
Phil stared at the screen...
'Hey.. Keatsh.... which screen we on again...'
'That one..' Keats waved his arm up limply and allowed it to fall
onto Knuckles shoulder roughly.
'H.hey... wassyername... ahhh... Unkle-summin-volgaria.... you got
any more kebabs left... me and my friend here dont feel punished
enough....'
Un'cle Bul'garia rolled his many eyes and walked off in several
different directions before coming back with 2 more kebabs and a
sharp scalpel..
'No thank you matey, il have my torture whole..'
Phils eyes bulged as he crammed half the kebab into his mouth at
once..
Keats sniffed his and said...
'This.. this is... in.. in... inaeron? how can you judge us by what
we are, here we come, many thousand lightyearsh to your home offering
alliance and..and..and this is how we are treated!'
The crowd was silent...
'Were here to help you against the..the hym.. hyp... bug thingysh and
this is how you repay us... then fine...'
The audience were looking at his feet..
'Let him go!' a few chirped
'Stop the torture!'
Knuckles came to relinquish the kebab off Keats, his pissed side
decided to make a move to keep its free bounty..
Keats had to insult them somehow....
He could only think of one way... the universal taunt.
He turned around with his back to the crowd, clutched the kebab in
his teth, fiddled with hs belt and mooned the entire crowd and
anyone who was watching.
The crowd was silent.... Then angry shouts were heard.
Keats smiled, took a buite out of the kebab and fell flat onto the
table he was standing on, then off there and onto the floor where he
fell asleep....
<tag>
OOC- well... i said keats cant take his drink....