Wirrals proves his worth.

Who?: Keith, Keith and the Chryslers.
Where?: everywhere from the extended alternate stasis room to
our 'star of india curry house and takeaway'.
When?: as the clowns attacked!
Quite unexpectedly, the wall exploded (much to the dismay of the
wall, and quite out of keeping with it's character) Revealing a
boarding rocket, with flowers pianted on the front...
Wires swore quite loudly and profanely.
"Bloody Empire Attack Clowns! We're in trouble Keith!"
A hatch opened in his left leg, revealing a small but viciously
efficient looking handgun. (I've been watching too much
Robocop...) "there should be some emergency weapons in behind that
wall hatch Keith, get yourself armed." He pulled his gun out of it's
housing and gestured to an adjacant wall.
The first five clowns out of the boarding craft were mown down in a
hail of 9mm rounds, the rest poked their meson rifles around the
edges of the wall, hoping to suvive the boarding.
"Like, die you fascist pigs!" Keith yelled as he pulled his chosen
minigun around, peppering the walls wih large-calibre rounds.
Alternate Keith began to back away, still firing.
"Whoa mate, you aint Rambo, I reckon we make a run for it."
"Right."
They both backed up, and then when they found a corner rushed down it.
Things were worse than Wires had suspected, at every turn they had to
kill more clowns, meson fire narrowly missing them all the way.
"There! There's the corridor to your ship Keith! Most of the best of
our crew will be there enjoying Parrots for the first time in ages!"
Running backwards down a transparent space corridor firing behind you
at attack clowns might look heroic and very cinematic, but when it
comes to doing it things can get very scary. However, this is
precisly what Keith and Wires had to do, ointment splashing at their
toes.
Turning the corridor to the promenade they were faced with a
veritable hoard of Clown Commandos, who seemed to be attacking the
Curry House.
Wirrals and Wirrals stopped, guns raised, sweat gleaming off of
Keith's face under the weight of his weapon, Wires' leg shining in
the corridor-light.
The Commandos stopped, turned toward the miners, just as surprised as
our lads were. an old edition of 'Dwarf!' blew across the promenade
by an inexplicable breeze, cyotes whined, vultures called, trigger
fingers itched.
And then, everyone fired at once.
The upshot of Clowns as soldiers is that you can never teach them to
shoot straight. Miners aren't known for their accuracy, but they
weren't looking for a way to get a blast of their funny horns in.
To cut a long paragraph short, lot's of clowns were shot, the
promenade got shot up and Wires' leg was immmobilised.
"Fall back!" Honk'd the lead clown, as the commandos rounded a corner
to escape the wrath of the two manic miners.
"Are you, like, ok Wires?"
"Nothing half an hour in the engineering deck won't fix."
They half walked, half hobbled into the 'Star of india'.
"Jay, it's stopped." Came Alota's voice from under a table...
<tag Jay or Alota?>
Gavin "Manic Miner" Branson.