Nightmare on Blue Dwarf (part 2)

<snip>
"So, what kind of things have happened to you while you've been aboard this ship?"
"We've dodged angry GELF's who wanted their dual photon cannons back, outran a Simulant cruiser across twelve systems and hid from a fleet of the emperors warships in 1066 where I nearly got an arrow in my eye, luckily I ducked."
"Nice,"
"Oh, and I was also wrongly held in a mental institution for 15 years from 1987 to 2002"
"Oh dear"
"Oh, and I was caretaker at a mountain hotel for a bit. There was a very strange toddler there too, his mum locked me in a freezer" There was an unsettling glint in Donald's eye. "I showed her though"
</snip>
Canazza and Donald continued walking, Canazza was beginning to fear for his safety as donald reached for the weapons locker.
"As you can see" he said, "This is not your usual compliment of weapons"
He picked up what could only be described as a water gun. A really cheap and nasty 99p one from the newsagents at that
"This fires a bio-polymer goo that immobilises any creature, specially designed to tackle the Chrysler JellyBeast"
"What was that?"
"Jay was making jelly, unfortunately instead of adding water he added a strange Liquid GELF that was making it's way through the water supply. I got trapped inside it for 3 days..."
He put the gun back and picked up a hefty looking weapon, shiny and metallic with glowy bits.
"That looks quite intimidating" Canazza backed off, wondering what his alternate would do with it
"That's the point, it doesn't do anything," Donald explained, "It was created to scare the Timid but hungry 3 headed Wolf into jumping out an airlock."
"Oh, and what's that one," Canazza pointed to a medium sized gun, with rings around the barrel.
"That is my personal favourite," He picked it up, there was a manic gleam in his eye again, and pointed it, "it's the sonic De-atomiser"
Canazza ducked just in time to miss the beam, which disintegrated a nearby girder.
"You're insane" Canazza stated, while making off towards an exit.
"It took you this long to figure it out?" Donald called, aiming the weapon again.
Canazza made it through the exit and locked the door. Canazza stepped back a few paces towards an intersection. Hopefully he was safe.
Not a chance. The door melted infront of him and Donald put his head through the door and said, in a manic tone of voice "HERE'S DONNY!"*
Canazza screamed and made off down the corridor.
Timmy, who was currently sleeping in Canazza's backpack, woke up to see Canazza chasing Canazza down the hallway with a rather nasty looking weapon.
"Can you tell me what's going on" he said
"Donald, the 'Good' version of me, is a psycho"
"Oh, Duck" he said, and Canazza did, just as the light overhead disintegrated.
They rounded a corner and found themselves in Engineering again.
"Oh smeg" he said, there was no way out, except the way they came in, or a flight of steps up to a catwalk, which was right next to where they came in.
Unfortunately, Donald was in the way.
He let out a really evil sneer of a laugh, "I'm REALLY going to enjoy this"
"Why," Canazza asked, "Why are you doing this?"
Donald took a few steps forwards.
"you're going to kill me"
"What?"
"Your Timmy killed my Timmy, you killed my twin's Timmy, now you want to kill me"
"That is the most twisted logic I ever heard" Canazza paused for a moment, "I don't want to kill you"
Donald shifted on the spot.
There were some raised voices coming from the catwalk, Donald didn't notice.
"I'm going to kill you before you kill anyone else from this universe, that's why you're here, to kill ALL of us and take our place"
Canazza saw Nipples and a scruff walk out onto the catwalk, The Scruff seemed to be having a go at Nipples, Efof followed. They walked down the steps and off down the corridor.
"Its not an act! I am Royal Ambassador to the Queen!" Nipples shouted, seemingly randomly.
Donald turned round, and in that moment, Canazza lunged forwards and took the gun off him, rolled forwards and stood up.
"NO!" Donald screamed, "I Have longed for this, since my hatred and malice was taken away I needed to get it back, Killing someone would have been the final experience I needed to restore it"
The words " so that means nothing, and you must have grown up on a
farm same as me, to poor parents…" echoed down the corridor, distracting Donald again.
"Timmy, Sic him," Timmy jumped out of the backpack and ran, pincers forwards, towards Donald, he was just about to lunge at his crotch when Donald kicked him clear across the deck. Canazza raised the gun up. Donald took a few steps towards him, "Stay back, or I will shoot"
Donald wrenched a metal bar off the wall and held it like a bat, Canazza fired.
The metal bar disintegrated, leaving only a short stump.
"YOU BASTARD!" Donald screamed, brandishing the stump, lunging at Canazza , who fired again, Donald's body collapsed into Canazza's, there was a large hole through the chest.
"I guess you were right." Canazza said, "I was going to kill you"
He shoved the lifeless corpse off him and stood up.
He walked over to a wall communicator, stunned.
"I need a medical team down here." he looked at the corpse, "actually, make that the coroner"
He looked at the corpse, it was HIM. He had seen some strange things on this ship, but he had never seen his own corpse.Name: Dave Canazza
Status: Scarred. (no, i'm not going to make HIM go insane, just a little bit less timid)
*c'mon, the whole point of this was that joke...