Seymour Niples-"Truly Pompous"

Seymour Niples and his alternate double
Alternate Blue Dwarf
Alternate Seymour's quarters
The Seymours stood and looked at each other in disbelief.
"How is it possible that you are me? Seymour Niples" Our Poshly
dressed Seymour said. "Even in the good and evil universes I always
had good taste in clothes and never reduced myself to the status of
a commoner by….. enjoying football and drinking…." He almost spat
the word out "…lager. And DEAR GOD! You have an Earring? What next?
Hi-tec trainers and a baseball cap?"
"Excuse me!" said the other Seymour. "you cant just come into my
flat and start calling me a commoner just cos I watch football and
drink beer! Anyway I'm Seymour Butts, my mother remarried."
"Everyone has a position of status in society" Seymour Niples said
in disgust. "you obviously don't seem to be the person of status I
thought you to be. I apologise, I must leave." He stuck his nose in
the air and turned away.
"Now wait a minute!" Seymour Butts blocked Niples' exit. "How dare
you just leave, just because I'm obviously not the hoity toity stuck
up self righteous arse wipe that you are doesn't mean you can just
dismiss me as if I'm nothing."
"I was looking for a figure of authority to converse the accidental
appearance of us in your universe, that is all." Seymour sighed and
had the same tone of arrogance in his voice that sounded he was
talking to someone beneath him. "You are obviously not that figure
of authority so I will see someone else, now please let me leave."
Seymour Butts looked at the Royal Ambassador in his waistcoat and
suit. "I could be an important figurehead of this vessel!!! You
never asked."
"Are you?"
"Well no…"
"Then please let me leave, I have important people to talk to. I
will not waste my time with low ranking technicians"
"Okay, FINE!!!" shouted Seymour Butts. "GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT
RIGHT NOW YOU POMPOUS JUDGING SON OF A BITCH!"
Seymour sighed with uninterest and strolled proudly down the
corridor.
Seymour Butts scowled, and instead of slamming the door shut, he
chased after Ambassador Niples. He too was just as stubborn and
couldn't let an argument finish without having the upper hand.
"I thought you just told me to leave?"
"Not before giving you a piece of my mind boyo! I think you own me
some respect."
"You're a technician, you have a curry stain on your shirt and a
hole in the crotch of your jeans. You have no respect to gain from
me. And the fact that you are even wearing jeans shows clearly that
our social classes are very different"
Seymour Butts just got more aggravated by this. "Talk about judging
a book by its cover! I cant believe I'm this shallow in your
universe!"
Efof Yuwan'Kar was walking down the corridor towards them wiistling
jovially and innocently to himself, "Oh hello Seymour….ss" he said
noticing the other.
Seymour started walking faster to try to show he was not with his so-
called "common" doppleganger.
"Efof I am not with this gentleman, Royal Ambassadors like me do not
associate with such people."
Seymour Butts smiled at Efof.
Efof looked puzzled. "Eeeerm…. Why cant you speak? Is it a human law
or something?"
"No of course, everyone is equa-" started Seymour Butts reasonably.
"We just don't!" Snapped the Ambassador.
"So you wont talk to him even though he's your twin?" Efof spoke
like a curious child.
"He's not my twin, just an unfortunate possibility. Look at how he's
dressed for a start!"
"That's how Mr Jay dresses on a Saturday!" Efof chirped.
"But Mr Jay... I mean Chrysler is an officer".
"Does this status thing really matter? On our planet we liked
everybody, we had this thing called `Free love'…" Efof said happily.
"It…urm… really?" Seymour was thrown off his stride.
Seymour Butts voiced up now. "How much of this act do you keep up
Seymour?"
"I don't know what you mean!" Seymour harrumphed.
"This whole… posh thing. Do people really fall for it?" Butts
pondered, and the question stopped Seymour dead in his tracks and
got his attention. Dave Canazza who he recognised from his Dwarf was
being shown on a tour around and passed them at that particular
moment so Niples tried to shut Butts up in fear he would hear.
"Its not an act! I am Royal Ambassador to the Queen!" Seymour puffed
out his chest proudly.
"Yeah but I'm betting the Queen is as much a slag in your dimension
as in mine… so that means nothing, and you must have grown up on a
farm same as me, to poor parents…"
"Shhhh!!!" Seymour beckoned, in case Canazza was still in earshot.
He didn't want any news of his poor family history getting around
the Dwarf, after this high status persona he'd tried to grown for
himself there would be a lot of sniggering at him. He might even
have his `privilege club status' removed at the suit shop.
"…your just so far up your own arse that you think you're brilliant.
So just think about others for a change." Said Seymour Butts. And
left the Ambassador stewing in his words.
After a few uncomfortable minutes of silence where Seymour wondered
about himself, Efof spoke up.
"So is being poor bad? Cos back on Ffion we didn't have money, we
just exchanged sexual fav-"
"Shut up Efof."
"okay" Efof solemnly looked at the ground.
After a few moment more, Seymour spoke, still deep in thought
though.
"Maybe I have lost touch of who I am, I am so concerned about being
the Royal Ambassador and hobnobbing with high up Admirals that I've
become too posh for my own good…"
"That explains why a lot of people hate you…" Efof offered.
"I suppose….oh hang on? THEY DO??"
"Erm… ahhh…." Efof looked uncomfortable.
"EVERYBODY HATES ME?"
"The lady at the grocery thinks you're charming, but a bit arrogant.
Oh, and the person at the suit shop, but I think you are his only
customer."
Seymour walked back to Seymour Butts' flat and knocked on the door.
When he opened it, the ambassador stodd there sheepishly and
said: "Take me for one of those spicy things… a erm…. Curry… a
strong one that only real men eat!"
Butts was confused. "You want to go for a curry takeaway? But you're
the kind of man who goes to fingernail therapists and has
bubblebaths, are you sure?"
"It'll be …… different!"
<OOC-anyone want to join for a curry to fill in before the attack?>