Ice? Snacks? and 50 gallons of beer! What kinda life DOES she lead?

OOC- sorry, didnt have time to fully finish the post this morning,
damn bell, thinks its so big caus it rings and tells me to do stuff,
lousy bas... ANYWAY!! i know your ALL so overjoyed and cant WAIT to
see what happens next to the intrepid Duo... or is it quadro??
'woh, this is like some kinda freekish NIGHTMARE or something!' JOHN
Keats looked flusterd, he edged away from Jack and tried not to look
at him, they both had there mouths wide open.. Jack summoned up his
courage..
'Sooo, how does it... you know... umm.. work?'
JANE Keats replied 'Well, you see, did your Jack invent phoenix
fire??' They both nodded
'Yeah, well, i guess from the looks of Jack that it happend quite
recently, foir us, it must of been quite a while back... When i went
to his lab to see what happend, i got splashed by some of the Phoenix
fire soltion, and frankly went skits, it increased my implanted
female hormones, and i essentially got a FULL change, that was a
while back, now, me and Jack are happily married, and have been for a
couple of months, he works... in security... and i work as a
wing'man' still, so its all fine!'
John looked flusterd.. he had also been hit by phoenix fire, and was
wondering whether that would lead to him wearing extra underwear and
wearing kinky undies more often... he gulped, loudly... The Armour
clad Jack spoke in a sly, deep voice, it chilled our Jack to the bone
'So then.. John... i bet you think this is rather strange... dont
worry, yor genetic makeup is.. different to MY Keats' , i doubt youl
have the same effect, but youl probably have to go to the medical
bay..' John looked at Jack, and then at Jack, then back to Jack again
'Well, jst one thing i need to know, except WHY, you have any
homebrew??' The Other Keats and Jack smiled, a cuboard flicked open
at the mere localised thought of alcohol. 'We have nothing as crude
as homebrew, but, we have a nice selection of wines, vin de rouge is
my faveourite..'
Keats went pale, 'N-n-NO BEER??? the hell is ths place' he promptly
slumped against the wall, dramatically. Jack slapped his head (his
own, not Johns). The other Jack smiled thinly 'Excuse my WIFE, she
has an odd sense of humour, however, you should get Keats hormonal,
testosterome and adrenal levels checked, you probably know why...' He
drew a long, thin sword, light didnt just bonce of it, it screamed as
it hit the blade edge, this sword was MORE than sharp, Jack thrust it
into the cuboard, on the end was a six pack, the balde expertly
postioned so all were opened just enough to down, but not enough for
any accidental spillage. 'Heres what me and JANE drink...'
Jack stared in awe 'Monoblade??' 'None other'
The sound of gas escaping a can of 6-hexa-X beer woke up Keats from a
dream where Beer was illegal and mineral water was abundant and free..
<tag, right, now, SMAndy, get off your bloody arse and post, or il
slap you good>