Hijacking

> Who: Keto and Cerebrum, the two people who quite possibly are going
> to use up this year's quota of words allowed in 'Who' taglines, which
> will be a shame because eventually it means we will run out of
>
> Where: Psychiatric and Medical Starbug (the legally-binding ownership
> papers for which are now, have always been and perpetually will be in
> the mail)
>
> When: Almost at the beginning of a post which is fronted by an
> extraordinarily extravagant amount of background information, to whit
> the Who, Where and When sections, which is most likely not at all
> necessary nor amusing but does serve to annoy and irritate which, let
> us not forget, is what Keto and Cerebrum are all about anyway.
Ditto
> "Well, I didn't hear YOU come up with any better plans!" declared
> Cerebrum defensively.
> Any further discourse was cut short as the disarmed, unexplosive
> but still incredibly large and dense mine crashed into the front of
> the drifting Starbug and sent it hurtling out of the pretence of
> control.
"You must admit that we're still safer in this situation than we would be if
we let the others mess about with out DNA," Cerebrum said, as he shut the
blast door to the cockpit.
"Yes, I must admit that it is safer," Keto snarled. "Much like jumping out
of a window on the thirty-sixth story of a building is safer than jumping
out of one on the thirty-ninth story."
"It could be worse," said Cerebrum, as the bug spiraled into a collision
course with Earth.
"How?" snapped Keto, as he vainly looked for something that worked.
"The Hymenoptera who's been genetically modified to appear as a human who
appears to have been hiding in that cupboard over there could be holding a
gun to your head, rather than pulling a big knife and putting it to your
throat like he is right now."
"Why me?" Keto said to the ceiling, as the felt the knife press slightly
into your throat.
"Here's the deal, give me this ship, and everything on it, and I don't
remove the good doctor's head here," explained the clone, who's mission goal
was to get to Earth and infiltrate Earth's legal system by becoming a donut
store manager.
"Don't worry!" Cerebrum exclaimed, pulling out his cellphone which he had
hardened against EMP. "I'll call the police."
He punched in 911 and talked to the man on the other end. "This is Dr
Cerebrum, I'm onboard a Starbug at these coordinates," he gave them. "And
we're being hijacked. We need help!"
"Sorry, but there's no patrol ships in the area. Please wait thirty minutes,
then we'll have help."
"Well, that didn't work out as well as I thought," he muttered, ignoring the
threats of the clone. Then Cerebrum decided to focus his supreme intellect
on the situation. He dialed the number again.
"This is Cerebrum, you don't have to worry about getting a patrol ship here
because I shot the hijacker."
Within thirty seconds there were four patrol ships docked with the bug, a
SWAT team and a battleship nearby. Naturally, they caught the alien hijacker
"I thought you said you shot him," one of the space patrol officers said to
Cerebrum, after he and Keto had been brought on board the battleship to be
transported safely to Earth.
"I thought you said there was no one around," retorted Cerebrum.