Posted on behalf on Deano

<this is coming to you via notepad, then via Andy, then, via the
wondrous world of internet (and the not so wondrous world of yahoo)
to your doorstep. This is probably how my next lot of posts will be
coming, so get used to it :) - Chris>
SNIP
"Oh Smeg-a-ruinie - Talk about a lousy time to get startled..." Said
the humungous hamster looking down dumbly at the blade of archer's
sword which Evil Jay had rammed up into his chest at that same
instant.
"Don't you just hate it when that happens?" Comments Evil Jay,
quickly withdrawing the blade as White Wolf's body limply buckles to
the floor, "Your Captain's dead. It is now YOUR turn!" as Evil Jay
slowly turned towards Dean.
<END SNIP>
Dean turned back from the vent and crouched next to WW's form. "You
know, I could be court-martialed for this!"
"That's it? A rubbish joke? No grabbing a sword and fighting. That's
not fun!" said EJ, sounding abit like a spoilt child, "Right!" He
dropped his weapons, "Come on then!"
"Certainly!" yelled Dean, slinging the massive hamster's body at the
Jay's evil counterpart, knocking him senseless.
Dean grabbed WW, "Thanks mate" and dragged him over to the vent,
before stuffing him into the vent. Taking one last look around, Dean
crawled in behind WW and started to push the captain along. Until
the vent narrowed. And it got slower and slower until he stopped. WW
was wedged in the Vent. Dean backed up a little then flew forward
and shoved with all his might. WW flew out of the narrow bit and
shot out of the vent in the shuttlebay before falling into a small
heap underneath the vent.
A guard came over to investigate, only to see Dean's head pop out of
the vent above the body. Thinking quickly, Dean threw the only thing
he had to hand at the guard, his own communicator. The guard
staggered and Dean leapt down and once again picked up WW before
throwing him at the dazed bug guard. "Thanks again mate" said Dean,
then he noticed a forklift truck in the corner. Next to a stack of
fuel barrels. Glacning around, he moved the forklift so that a
palette of fuel barrels was on the forks. Then he broke the seals
with his knife, and muttered "lift em you smegger." To his surprise
the truck obeyed.
A clever idea ran through Dean's mind. He picked up his fallen
communicator and placed it next to the truck, and turned it on.
Then, he grabbed WW and hauled him up to the airlock of the first
bug ship he saw.
Now, this is where being a human on a bug ship first became a
problem.
How do you open a door, which requires 4 pressure pads held down,
all on the wall? Simple, grab your nearest lifeless companion, and
press his paws against the two lower ones, then, holding him there
with the cunning use of pressure, use your hands to press the top
two.
When Dean got up off the floor, he added another point to that list.
Ensure that you and said companionan aren't leaning against the door.
Anyhow, he was now in the craft, and aiming for take off he shut the
door, stole WW's communicator, and headed for the cockpit area.
Hitting a red button, he filled the craft with bug music....
For those uninitiated in alien music, it sucks. No, honestly,
imagine the worst pop music imaginable. Now combine with the worst
deaf metal, throw in some country and western, some bad Blues
playing, and then times that by 1000 and have it sung in a foreign
tongue that goes "OOOOOOOOAREGASGHFG!" That's not close
Dean, shuddering, turned it off. Then he hit a bigger red button and
got thrown into the seat as the bug craft flung itself towards the
bay doors.
The closed bay doors.
The distinctly solid looking bay doors.
The distinctly solid looking, distinctly un-opening bay doors.
Dean shut his eyes, and prayed...
It turns out that distintly solid, distinctly un-opening bay doors
weren't distinctly solid. In fact, a dying italian priest could have
destroyed them with a zimmerframe. Blindfold.
Now Dean flicked WW's communicator to the frequency of his
own. "DROP!" he yelled, and laughed as, when he craned round, he saw
an explosion rock the ship. Not fatal, but pretty damn nasty.
Next he had to communicate with the dwarf, he pressed teh button
that he hoped operated the radio and called out.
"Dean calling Blue Dwarf."
Jay's voice came back, "Dean? That you? Where you been?"
"Well, actually, it's a long story."
"Well it's panic stations! There's a bug fighter screaming towards
us..."
"Jay, that's me." Dean pointed out.
"How can I be sure?"
"You want me to fly it into the Drive room?"
"Ok, it's you."
"Thank-you."
"Dean in Bugcraft Zero-Zero requesting permission to land."
Dean "Jees, finally got it to post via Andy" Thomas