Ever wonder what would've happened if the 3 stooges appeared on Sta

Who: Captain White Wolf, XO Phil FeBuggure, And Chief Navigator Jay
Chrysler.
Where: In the hamsters' cage, Err... Captains quarters.
When: After Phil showed up.
<Snip>
"This" he said "Is the desert planet Tattooed Ian, named after the
guy who found it..Kara and I passed it on our way back to the dwarf
but, we picked up a signal from the surface, we couldn't land as I
was low on fuel but I thought you might wanna check it out"
"What kind of signal?" White Wolf asked, "I can't go wasting
resources on trivial pursuits when were in the middle of peace
negotiations with the bugs"
"Besides" said Phil "I always preferred monopoly.."
"....ok....." said Jay, addressed White Wolf hoping perhaps he'd get
a more sensible statement from the hamster, "Its a holographic signal
Sir, Space Corp, its one of our guys"
<End mini Deja Vu' experience>
"Hmm...",Said the huge hamster while twitching his whiskers in deep
thought, "This signal might be from a 'survivor' of the Ulysees. And
it might just shed a little light on what happened over there. Since
it's on our way, We better check it out - But more because I don't
trust this Hymenoptera peace negotiation request for a minute, not
after what I saw in their hive mind. And I don't have very good
hopes that this kind of incident happening so near thier territory is
just coincidence."
"Ok, then who you going to send to Tattooed Ian?" asked Jay.
"Just the three of us - in case it's some kind of trap." Replied
White Wolf with the confidence that they were making the right
decision he opens a desk drawer and takes out some kind of holo-belt
while reaching out and snapping on the intercom, "Flight deck, fuel &
prep Starbug #21 with standard search party equipment and desert
survival gear - it's to launch in 30 minutes." Then He punched
another button and spoke, "Drive Room? This is White Wolf - Inform
Ambassador Niples that I'm leading Jay & Phil on a important away
team mission on the planet Tattooed Ian which may have some
pertinance to the upcoming peace negotiations, so he's in charge of
the Blue Dwarf until I return."
"Um, Why are you putting him in charge?" Asks a dumbfounded Jay.
"Because he's the only other person I know off that's seen what I've
seen in the hive mind, and he's the only other person on this ship
besides us three with any starship combat command experience with
Allie's lightbee in the shop for a retrofit, and Alota currently in a
coma. I'd be a complete idiot to put Ensign Queck or Ashley in charge
of this ship - But then again, I am in the JMC..." replies the large
hamster as he stands up while slipping on the belt, "Oh, and Phil,
don't forget to bring extra ammo for your Kill-a-lot 6000..."
<Sometime later, in Starbug #21>
White Wolf was in the cockpit about to go through the Starbug's
startup checklist, went he heard Jay coming up the gantry behind
him, "Hi Jay! I was just about to run the systems check."
The big hamster flicked the on button, and the female voice came on
over the speakers, intoning -
"Ram Online...
CPU Online...
Hydralic systems Online...
Environmental control systems Online...
Weapons systems Online...
Flight control systems Online...
Security systems Online...
Loading Operating system...
Artifical Idiot Online..."
"Was that a comment of my performance at the intergalatic super
computer chess game tournament? I should have used the horsey instead
of the goldfish, shouldn't I?" Says the image of Holly entering on
one of the nearby monitors.
"Hmm, I guess this is good time as any to turn on my new invention -
an automatic survival gear belt in hard light" Says White Wolf, not
paying too much attention.
"Detecting pilot...", Went on the female voice, "Found Chief
Navigator Lieutenant Commander Jay M. Chrysler... Filing appeal of
automatic 'No fault' insurance cancellation..."
White Wolf flicks the switch on his holo-belt, and he is suddenly
outfitted in a Spear fishermens diving suit complete with oversized
speargun.
"Hey!" Yelped an offended sounding Jay.
"Okay - I've got to work out a few of the bugs..." Remarks the huge
hamster, pushing the diver's mask up on his forehead, and spitting
out the breathing snorkle.
<Tag Jay/Phil!> ;)