Sobriety Heights

Who: canazza, Timmy
Where: Engineering bay #0153
When: In the here and now baby
Previously:
All engineers have been sent to engineering for the duration of the ambassadors trip by orders of the captain ... with no alcohol...9:13 PM
2 hours after the call was made
Canazza crouched in the cramped space of the cubby hole behind the vending machine console in the Engineering bay with a soldering iron in his hand and an arc welder lodged in his left thigh. He was still rather tipsy from the night's drinking.
Something in the corridor shouted something totally unrepeatable.
"Bloody assignment ... they couldn't have given me anything smaller to work in"
"Well, they could have asked you to give the skutters scalectric set a clean"
"Why is that smaller?"
"Well, most of the track winds through the air vents"
"well, okay ... can you PLEASE take that arc welder out of here"
"no, this is my pet welder, i'm taking him everywhere"
"BLOODY ARSEHOLES!" was the cry from the corridor.
"It's twice your height and thrice your weight ... you're insane"
"no, just very adept in the art of annoyance"
Canazza's blurred brain couldn't make any sense of that remark, with that he went back to soldering his sleeve to the console terminal.
"AK!" the blindingly hot solder burned through the material and he realised what he was doing, he pulled his arm away ripping the cuff off, "bloody solder..."
He ignored the pain in his arm and resumed his maintenance of the console panel. Another unrepeatable statement was uttered in the corridor.12:43 AMThe hangover was beginning to set in, his head began to throb and his tongue dried out. He sipped the water he'd been given by the vending machine he was working on ... not too bad considering he asked for a Lemonade. He knew he was getting close.
There was a loud expletive shouted from the corridor.
"This shouldn't have taken 4 hours to fix" Timmy stated, trying to get his welder back in the hole
"Get that bloody thing out of here"
"No, he's my pet" Timmy had tried this three times since Canazza realised Timmy was just trying to wind him up and he physically picked up the welder and threw it out into the corridor, tripping someone up.
"get - it - out - of - here" canazza's face was going beetroot. Timmy was winning
"we still should have been out of here by 10"
Several swearwords were bellowed at rock concert volume through the corridors so loud it could be heard 2 decks above and below.
"Well... i was drunk, it was only natural there would be delays"
"Yeah, like how you managed to get it serving water instead of lemonade" Timmy sneered, "All you were here to do was stop it swearing at everyone"
"so... minor mishap"
"And now it swears so the whole ship can hear it, thanks to someone boosting the power input"
"it's not the power input... i'm telling you"
Timmy jumped into Canazza's lap, a tight fit, and whacked the panel.
An expletive was uttered, at normal volume, it was from Canazza, "You hit me in the groin"
"Sorry, bounceback" Timmy was pushed out of the way.
Something unrepeatable was said in the corridor at normal volume
Timmy was looking predictably smug.5:32 AMCanazza was in the full throes of his hangover. Despite this, he had managed to repair the machine. It had stopped swearing and it now served the right items. Unfortunately, it now thought it was a duck, and accompanied each order with a spray of water and a quack. Timmy was suspended from the corridor ceiling by the rubber tubing of the arc welder, canazza had gone a bit homicidal on Timmy's new pet.
Canazza closed the panel and crawled out into the corridor, stood up and walked round to the vending machine.
"Lemonade"
"here you go sir" it said and vended a lemonade, "QUACK"
"oh bugger," canazza thought, getting ready to, ironically, duck, but the drenching never came,
"only kidding..." said the vending machine.
"great, that's really gratitude"
"Oh... you did cause more problems than i began with"
"yes, but most engineers would have given up when you started quacking, I didn't... i soldered, i mean, soldiered on!"
"Well... i suppose so, and you did spend alot of your credits on water and lemonade..." the vending machine made some whirring noises and clicking noises and then said "okay, i'll let you in on a secret"
"Okay," canazza's interest perked up, "go on"
"You shouldn't be here"
"Shut up you stupid machine" Timmy scolded from the ceiling
"What?"
"The captains message, it was faked"
"WHAT?" Canazza's face went beetroot
"you're in for it now" Timmy broke free from the piping and went behind the machine
"The vending machine in Parrots played a prank on you..."
there was a loud clank, and a jingling sound, followed by a nasty horrid sound of fizzling circuits
A loud expletive was expelled from the vending machine, followed by a torrent of water that drowned Canazza
"QUACK!" it said
An engineer came up the corridor after seeing what happened.
"You'd better fix that" he said, "That's an order" and walked off
and expletive was muttered by Canazza
"you'll be needing this" Said Timmy, handing him the soldering iron.Name: Dave Canazza
Status: Wet and hung over