[JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Ho ho HO MY GOD!

<snip>
"I'm off to join him" said Timmy, trying to free himself from Canazza's grip.
"you're comming with me,"
"what?"
"We are going to take down that Giant Santa"
"I think you're going slightly mad"
Canazza walked on and rounded the corner.
</snip>
Who: Canazza and Timmy
When: A day after the snip
Where: A corridor aboard BD
"We've been searching for a day now... and i havn't had a drink!"
"I need you to be sober, just in case we meet up with it" Replied Canazza, checking the powerpack on his Bazookoid,
"it's still full," Timmy scowld at Canazza, "Just like the last 14 times you looked"
Timmy and Canazza had been following the trail of destruction of the Santa Claus for a day and Canazza had refused point blank to allow Timmy access to a vending machine to get alcohol. It's bad enough him getting simulated drunk, but getting REALLY drunk, with REAL alcohol, with REAL conseqences, IE, the runs, barfing etc, due to his new real digestive system, that just really make Canazza queasy.
"Give me Alcohol now!"
"NO! like i said, i need you sober as a Bus Driver,"
"to hell with that... i want to be as drunk as a politician!", there was a sound round the corner, niether heard it
"Which kind?"
"American" The sound came again, louder, Timmy heard it
"YOU SICK PIG!"
"What was that..."
"I said, YOU SICK PIG!"
"no..." the sound came again, even louder, "that"
the sound came again, instantly recognisable, "HO HO HO"
"$&%!" they chorused, Canazza loaded the Bazookoid and checked the power, it was full.
The giant robot santa turned the corner, "HO HO HO! Have you been naughty or have you been nice"
"Well..." began Canazza, "I have had very little human contact over the past - "
"You've been naughty havn't you... All those skutter's you've destroyed"
"EAT LASER YOU GOD FORSAKEN SAINT!" he pulled the trigger, nothing happened. Again, nothing. it wasn't even jamming, it was just... empty, "WHAT THE F$&£?!" he checked the power meter, still full, he tapped it, it felt wierd. He poked it and it started to peel, "EH?" The Santa began to advance
"Didn't you know," said Timmy, "regulation JMC bazookoids don't actually have a charge meter, too expensive, so they stuck a sticker on it" Before he finished the sentence, they were travelling backwards at quite a speed, Canazza's legs were out-doing themselves, especially with his frame. The Santa lumbered behind them.
"HO HO HO - Here is your present" he said as a hatch opened in his front.
Canazza turned round, only to catch a glimpse of three small robots skuttling along the ground. They beeped and flashed and looked strangly like those bomb's you see in cartoons.
Canazza carried on forward, but the bombs were catching up on them. Canazza did something stupid. he stopped.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Timmy squealed, "RUN YOU CRAZY SOD!"
But he didn't. Canazza bent down and picked up the three tiny bombs, "I used to be the best punter in school..." he said, getting ready to kick
"So how come you're an engineer?"
Canazza readied himself for the three-ball kick
"I was... until i got fat..." he kicked. The bombs went flying towards the far wall where there was a sealed door.
They exploded, taking the door with them. Alarm bells rang, Holly's face appeared on the viewscreen
"WARNING!" he said, "Unauthorised breach of lockdown, detecting 1 human and 2 robotic life forms."
all of a sudden the floor and walls began to prickle with electricity, the Santa looked around confused.
"Activating Electronic Disabling field" Holly said... "Hang on" his face contorted into strange forms, even loosing colour slightly, "Nearly there." Canazza and Timmy ran through the door, around another corner and onto the promenade.
Back in the other corridor, the Santa started walking onwards. "Okay... activating..." the walls and floor sparked into life, shocking the Santa. 2The intruder is temporarilly disabled, Security can now deal with the threat as it see's fit"
Canazza looked back around. It lay still, moving slightly, but not much. "Uh Holly, how can that happen when you've locked down the whole ship?"
"not my problem," said Holly, switching off.
"Shocking," was the only thing Canazza could think of
"What the heck was that? I didn't realise BD had that kind of defence"
"well, it's got sod all offence, i'd needs some sophisticated kit... tis a pitty only THAT corridor has all the features."
"Why?" Timmy's vision went black, something was over his face, "HEY! what the heck?" Timmy peeled it off, it was the power meter from the bazookid, "ah... that's why"
They continued on towards the Promenade.Name: Dave Canazza
Status: Comming soon to an HMV near you... Timmy's 'I want Brandy' song