Post Navy Sickness

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Stuart McKenzie's Log
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6.00 AM - Awoke after a horrible dream where I was attacked by a giant
salt shaker with a Charlie Chapman outfit. Went back to sleep.
7.00 AM - Christine wakes me up to tell me the toaster has broken
down.
7.30 AM - Enjoy 2 Baceggs for breakfast. I thought while consuming
them, why people protested against genetically combining bacon with
eggs.
8.00 AM - Open shop and set up the Xmas section for 'Santa', however
people are starting to believe less and less that White Wolf in a
Santa costume looks believable.
9.00 AM - Received package for Phil FeBuggure - new Scisoft '01. Sent
it Express.
9.30 AM - Dr. Keto arrives at store wanting to know when the next
shipment of ointment is arriving. I told him January the 14th.
"Gaw blimey!" he exclaimed, "What'll I do???"
In which I replied, "Use bandages?"
9.50 AM - White Wolf arrives in his Santa Suit. I wonder if the real
Santa has tufts of hair in his sleeves.
10.00 AM - White 'Santa' Wolf entertains people. I also watch.
10.10 AM - Got bored, started my Christmas cards.
10.12 AM - Found Christmas cards. Started with Captain Cannon,
followed by Commander Niples, James Johnson, Kayn Bestrom & White
Wolf. Used expensive and very elegant cards.
10.50 AM - Finished superior officer cards and post them.
11.00 AM - The Santa routine has finished. I return to my Christmas
cards, and use the eight dollar pounder cards for Navigation.
11.30 AM - Use five dollar pounder cards for Security, Engineering,
Science & Medical.
1.00 PM - Finish those cards and now the 50 centence cards for
civilians.
1.30 PM - Just in time for lunch
2.30 PM - Return from Lunch to find someone raping an Xmas tree.
3.00 PM - Persuade Mr. ######## to leave the Xmas tree alone (The
rapist wanted me to blank out his name).
4.00 PM - Seven computers sold - RECORD!!!
5.00 PM - Left the store and went back to my quarters.
9.00 PM - Christine told me she wanted a child. I told her that she is
39 and I'm 47. That seemed to have answered her question.
END LOG
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