Missing the party and missing the point
"I am the communications officer of the Jupert Mining Corporation Vessel
Blue Dwarf, I am trained to operate the most sophisticated communications
equipment we can afford, so why the hell am I helping out with the autopsy
on these god damned aliens!?" Johnson asked.
"You drew the short straw," Dr Keto said happily rubbing ointment into the
giant insectoid corpse.
"It was the only straw! I don't remember anyone else being offered any
straws!"
"Then you should count yourself lucky! Now pass me more ointment!" the Dr
ordered.
Johnson took another Miscellanious jar and passed it to Dr Keto. Since
getting back he'd had a rough time, he was disiplined for abandoning his
post and stealing/destroying a starbug/planet and as punishment he'd been
dropped into autopsy duty, and his new crew quarters were shared with the
Harbinger of Doom (His quarters were known ship wide as the sin bin)
"Hold on! What's this?" Johnson said, noticing an inscription on the bug's
inner thigh.
He looked closer, "It says, property of the Monsanto Corporation, copyright
3055..."
He looked up, amazed, "Do you know what this means?"
"We need to fill the letters in with ointment?" the doctor suggested.
"It means that at some point in the future we're going to create these
things, designed for, god knows what, war, terraforming, we could learn a
fundamental message about humanity from this experience!"
"Yep," said Doctor Keto, "It needs more ointment!"
Johnson sighed, "Oh well, looks like aliens don't exist after all..."
_____________________
"Look, Efof, alcahol has weird effects on your behaviour, I reckon you
should stick to the soft drinks!" Niples advised before slumping under the
table.
Efof was confused, everyone seemed to be drinking something that looked like
urine stuck in a sodastream, and was acting in a weird way even for humans.
He decided to stick to something perfectly un-urine like, but the most he
could find was Tango. He took a few swigs, and suddenly he felt exhilerated,
it was so sweet! Sweeter than anything he'd ever tasted before, suddenly he
had an urge to "Get down" and "Strut his funky stuff" A few seconds ago he
didn't even know what funky stuff was, let alone whether he could strut
it...
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