Water Follies

<McKenzies>
<Just before things got frisky>
Zack rummaged through the various reports on his desk.
His desk. He couldn't believe it. He had a desk job! He had a
SECRETARY!
Cubie popped up next to him. "Have you looked at the quarterly
earnings statement by department yet?"
"Not yet." He kept rummaging. "What does it look like?"
Cubie sighed and snatched a paper-clipped stack of papers from
the growing chaos that was Zack's desk. "It looks like this, Zack."
"Oh, yes. Why thank you." He took the report and glanced at
it. Then he stared at it. Then he squinted hard at it. "Uhhh . . .
Cubie?"
Cubie rolled her eyes and took the package from her befuddled
husband, then turned it ninety degrees and handed it back. Zack
smiled. "Oh, ah, that's much better! Thanks, sweetie!"
Cubie stomped out of the office, headed back to her desk in the
reception area. Zack could almost make out her grumbling.
He focused his attention on the report again, when a massive
shudder went through the deckplates. Zack grabbed the top of his
desk in panic as the room shook.
Cubie appeared, her eyes wide. "Now what have you done?!"
Another shudder rocked them both. Zack gaped at Cubie. "I
didn't do anything! I was just reviewing the report!!"
The ship whined as it began accelerating. then suddenly it
lurched, and the Richards felt like they were on a rollercoaster.
Then with a slam they were both hurled to the deck, and everything
started to settle down.
Zack sat up, rubbing his head. "Next time, let me buckle up
before starting the ride!"
Cubie disappeared, only to return an instant later dripping
wet. "We've crashed in an ocean!"
"A-HA! I KNEW it wasn't my fault! There's no WAY I could've
done THAT!" Then he looked at Cubie. "Where exactly did you go?"
"I projected outside the ship! Normally I just get a very nice,
uncluttered view of the stars. This time I ended up swimming near
the drive section!"
The deck tilted ten degrees under them, and they found
themselves leaning to keep from falling over. Zack grabbed Cubie by
the shoulders. "We're sinking!"
Cubie snorted. Zack, do you realize just how much water this
ship displaces? It'll take hours for her to sink, if she sinks at
all."
Zack pointed out his office window at the main floor of the
department store. "Then we have a very wet customer!"
Cubie looked where Zack was pointing. Thousands of gallons of
seawater were pouring in through the front door of the store,
sweeping floor displays and mannequins away in a roar.
"Oh, Smeg!"
Zack bolted from the ofice, flying down the stairs with Cubie on
his heels. "Zack! Where are we going?"
"Sporting goods," Zack gasped. "Specifically the area with the
flotation devices!"
Cubie was nonplussed. "Zack! You took that display down a week
ago!"
Zack laughed. "No, I was SUPPOSED to take down the display! I
never got around to it!"
Cashholly's monitor descended from the ceiling. "I refuse to
take part in the inventory of the damaged merchandise, Mr. Richards.
This time you've gone too far!"
Zack was livid. "But I - oh, never mind!"
They were halfway through the women's wear when the water caught
up with them. Zack's feet were swept out from under him, and he
disappeared under a rack of brassieres.
Cubie dove after him. She swam under the rack, looking for her
husband. She finally spotted him two racks away, wrestling with a
tangled web of pantyhose. She swam over to him and pulled him free.
Together they managed to make it to the surface.
Zack looked around, wildly. The water was already almost to the
ceiling. They were going to need scuba gear, not flotation devices.
He spotted the familiar red square with the white slash, and made for
it.
Five minutes later, they were both swimming for the front door,
fighting against the current. For several minutes they weren't able
to make any headway, but finally they broke through-
And fell on their faces on the welcome mats. Cubie looked
around, amazed.
The Promenade was completely dry. The only water anywhere to be
found was dripping off of the disheveled couple.
A maintenance man was fiddling with the controls to the
door. "Oh, yeah. You might want to watch that first step. The
crash apparently scrambled the entrance settings for the warpgate to
a location fifty meters below the ship's outer hull."
"A warpgate?" Zack was confused. Cubie was aghast.
The maintenance guy stroked his bushy white moustache and
chuckled. "Yeah. Most of these interdimensional department stores
have 'em now. It's actually a gate into an alternate dimension.
Can't fit a department store inside a little building like this
without one." He made one last adjustment. "There we go. Should be
working fine now."
Zack stood up and peered through the doors. "But the store is
still flooded."
The maintenance man waved dismissively. "Oh, that'll work
itself out the first time you open the door." He packed up his tools
and headed off to MacDonalds. "Take care. And watch that first
step!"
Cubie frowned. First step? What was he talking about?
Her eyes widened in horror as understanding dawned in her
mind. "Zack! Don't-"
Zack opened the doors, and thousands of gallons of seawater
smacked him in the face as it rushed out of the department store into
the Promenade. Zack was blown almost to Parrots by the powerful
stream before Cubie could drag him clear. The water quickly subsided
until the Promenade was merely knee-deep.
Zack looked at the soggy report, still somehow clutched in his
fist. "I bet THIS isn't even budgeted for, is it?"
~Zack & Cubie~
"Looks like a flood sale!"