Re: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Cerebrum\'s first victim, er, patient

"Now, first, tell me your full name and rank, and then tell me why you think
you need psychiatric assistance."
“My name is Ensign Joe Schweeble, I’m a security and reconnaissance officer,
and over the last couple of hours I’ve been hearing a voice in my head which
was why I came here.”
“That voice you have been hearing Schweeble, is this squidgy little organ of
Wildflowers” said Keto, simultaneously glaring at both Wildflower and the
appendix. “It seems our little friend is psychic and want’s to be a
psychiatrist” he continued. “Problem solved, now get out of my medibay.”
Joe turned to walk out when the voice in his head spoke up again.
“That might be the reason that you came in the first place Joe, but I can
sense something buried in your sub-conscious that you really need to let
out.”
“Oh yeah, and what’s that” said Joe
The medibay staff looked around, confused.
“I’m not sure yet, but I can feel it lurking their, it’s something to do
with your bouts of depression I think.”
Joe thought about the possibility of an end to his depression then turned to
Keto and said “Actually Doc, I think I do need a few sessions with the
psychiatrist”
“Excellent” said Cerebrum, “Excellent” thought the appendix.
A couple of hours later, Joe lay on a couch, talking about his mother,
crying, a temporary office had been set up in the quarantine room Dr
Cerebrum and the appendix sat in chairs next to him.
“And then she said she…sh…she l..l…loved me” blubbered Joe, at that Cerebrum
also started to cry, and the appendix was racked with shudders, (if
appendix’s had eyes then it would have been crying).
Joe looked curiously at Cerebrum as he popped a little blue pill into his
mouth. A couple of minutes later he had himself under control again.
<What a psychiatric team Cerebrum and the appendix would make>
>From: benpaul@...
>Reply-To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com
>To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com
>Subject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Cerebrum's first victim, er, patient
>Date: Tue, 12 Jun 2001 12:51:22 -0000
>
>Cerebrum, completely unworried about the voices in his head (having
>heard worse things in his head before), said, "The solution is
>obvious. Who would you rather have treat this man. Me, with ten years
>of experience of both psychiatry and insanity, or a giant, apparently
>telepathic, appendix who probably doesn't even have a degree from a
>major university."
>
>"So, what's your point." came the voice in his head.
>
>Cerebrum pointed at Schweeble, "He came into this room standing up.
>He's now on the ground, clutching his head and muttering about the
>voices in his head. You haven't been very comforting for him, so I'll
>take over." Cerebrum picked up Schweeble and set him down on a nearby
>table. "Holly!"
>
>The computers head appeared on a nearby monitor, "Yes?"
>
>"Where are the psychiatric offices? I've got a patient."
>
>"They're four levels up, but they've never been used."
>
>"What's it matter that they've never been used?"
>
>"Someone's stolen all the furniture."
>
>"Oh, I guess I'll just treat this guy right here then."
>
>Cerebrum proceeded to ignore everybody else in the room, removed
>several large books from his bag. The titles were mostly along the
>lines of Psychiatry, Psychology and Electroshock Therapy for Idiots.
>Then he took out a notebook and a pen. He pulled up a chair next to
>the table, sat on it and opened the notebook and readied his pen
>right above it.
>
>"Now, first, tell me your full name and rank, and then tell me why
>you think you need psychiatric assistance."
>
_________________________________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.