Medi-tation...

Rpg:
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Location: Medibay and Corridors.
Character: Charles Keto, William Shakespeare, Hazel Coffey, Tara
Cleavage, Jennifer Wildflower, The Big Pink Tree,
Appendix A, Stromile Keegan (Haha.)
Time: Thursday.
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Doctor Keto strolled along the corridors of the Blue Dwarf
muttering angrily to himself.
"Why am I stuck with the most incompetent of medicrews? Why am I
cursed?" he asked to the air.
"A man with a firm belief that he was alive in the fifteenth
century, a nurse with the ability to bring toruble down on whatever
area of the ship she's in, a plastic surgeon who seems to do as
little as she possibly could, an apprentice surgeon who has a habit
of mutilating her own appendages, a malformed organ and an annoying
chlorophyll filled shurb that won't leave me alone!"
He stopped and looked at his surroundings. He was standing in a
large intersection of corridors and a group of engineers were staring
at him.
"What?" he demanded. The group shook their heads in unison.
"Good," he growled. "Now leave me alone before I perscribe you
some ointment."
At the shocked expressions on the faces, he stromed off back
towards his medibay to see what the fools were up to.
He entered the medibay and stopped dead in his tracks. He realised
that ever since Shakespeare had come aboard, he'd often entered the
medibay and been horrified at the sight which greeted him. Now was
no different.
In the medibay's corner stood a smouldering barbecue, and at his
desk sat Wildflower eating a hotdog. At Shakespeare's desk sat the
distrubed surgeon, eating a cheeseburger, and next to the barbecue
bounded the Big Pink Tree who was holding an empty bun and rustling
contentedly.
"Shakespeare!" bellowed Keto, his face turning a shade of maroon.
"Why yes, Charles."
He pointed to the barbecue and gestured wildly. "Why?" he managed.
"Wildflower and I felteth in need of morsels nutritious," he said,
biting into his cheeseburger.
"Keto, calm down," interrupted Wildflower from behind Keto's desk.
There was silence as Keto turned around to face Wildflower. He
grimaced at the sight of grease and tomato ketchup over his medical
journals.
"Get away from my desk," he said in a low tone. Wildflower wiped
her mouth and stood up, one of her hands behind her back. She walked
over to Keto who was till fuming and smiled sweetly.
"Look Charlie," she said. Keto visibly flinched at the name
Charlie. "You seem to have been very tense lately. Quite stressed
out with certain things."
"You being one of them," growled Keto.
*Rustle*
"Look, I think I'm being perfectly fair in my justification of
annoying when the crewmember I refer to thinks that a slight hiccup
will kill her!"
*Rustle?*
"Yes, you are as well,"
*Rustle-Rustle*
"There's no such thing as shrubism!"
*Rustle*
"Do you want me to get an axe?" demanded Keto. He waited. The
tree was silent. He turned back to Wildflower.
"You've come into my medibay, and helped him," he pointed at
Shakespeare. "Turn it into a circus!"
Wildflower waited for Keto to stop shouting. She was completely
unfazed by him.
"Do you have anything to say?" asked Keto after a few minutes of
ranting.
"Yes. I bought you a present," said Wildflower happily.
Keto stood totally still, dumbfounded by her reply.
"You bought me a present?" he asked incredulously, making sure at
what he'd heard.
"Yep. Here you are." She presented Keto with the small box. He
looked at the package in her hands and took it slowly. Then he
opened and looked inside. He looked down at the sandals, and then
back up at Wildflower who had an expectant look on her face.
"Sandals?" he queried.
"Yep, your sneakers looked pretty scabby and crap," she said,
gesturing to his current footwear.
"They're a lot better than a pair of bloody sandals!" he shouted,
chucking the box in the direction of the bin.
"You didn't have to be so mean!" shouted Wildflower at the doctor,
equally as loud.
"You didn't have to get them for me!" returned Keto.
"You don't have to be so grouchy ALL of the time!" replied
Wildflower.
"You don't actually have to be in the medibay!" shouted Keto.
"Where else do I go to get treated?" shouted Wildflower.
"IT WAS A HICCUP!" screamed Keto.
Shakespeare sat quietly at his desk, passing the time of the day by
sorting out the crews medical records. Keto sat at his desk, a
permanent scowl upon his face, whilst Wildflower sat on her medibed,
also wearing a scowl. Every few seconds they would look at each
other, the animosity increasing before turning away.
The Big Pink Tree was bouncing up and down on the spot next to the
quarantine room whilst the appendix lazily rolled around in it's cage.
Shakespeare glanced at the clock. It was fifty six minutes past a
random hour. Shakespeare was hoping for something to happen, to
break the deathly silence that had occurred since the argument had
ceased.
Lo and behold, as if on cue, Hologram Phil Febuggre walked in with
Nurse Tara Cleavage.
Phil opened his mouth to speak to Keto, but sensing the bad
atmosphere he stopped and looked at Shakespeare.
"Doctor Shakespeare, Tara here had a bit of an accident with my
evil double. Do you think you could fix up her leg?"
"Why certainly, my goodeth man," Said Shakespeare leapign up from
behind his desk to take hold of Tara. "Cometh here Tara, we shall
mend thy bust limb."
He led her over to one of the free beds, and Phil left the room,
wondering if he had taken her to the right place. Tara sat down on
the bed, and Shakespeare pulled out a small kit containing plaster
casts and various cast adhesives.
"How did thy cause such a tangle?" he asked, gently taking her
broken ankle in his hands. Keto and Wildflower had remained where
they were, neither one felt like moving, talking or evening doing
anything. The tree however had bounded over to Tara and Shakespeare
and was now observing happily.
"Evil Phil, dangled me over a pit, and a certain Doctor left me to
dangle," she looked over at Keto who just sat back in his chair and
laughed quietly.
"And thou fell?"
"Sort of, when I was lowered, I landed on it funny."
*Rustle*
"Yes I was smegging scared I have frelling Vertigo," said Tara.
The tree bounded lightly, appearing slightly dejected.
"Which woulds't explain thy fracture's here, and of course but
here," continued Shakespeare pointing to her ankle on various places.
"What does it mean?"
"Thou shalt wear a cast, for but the next seven weeks, Tara," said
Shakespeare.
"Seven weeks?" said Tara loudly.
"I am afriad so, thy leg is badly brokes't. Without thy due care,
it'st would'st be damaged further, if thou choose to take of said
cast."
"So you're saying that if I don't wear the cast for the next seven
weeks, I could really frell up my leg?"
"Yes," nodded Shakespeare.
"Smeg," cursed Tara.
The medibay was still quiet, but this time, there was a little more
motion. Wildflower and the Tree were playing ludo, Keto was by his
shelf cataloguing his oitnments, and Shakespeare was tending to the
ligaments of Chief Petty Mining Officer Stromile Keegan who had had a
very strenuous game of table tennis with one of the security officers.
"Stromile, what hath I told you about thy backswing?"
"I know Doc, I know. But I needed the point."
"Thy wills't get the point when thou hand'st becomes useless. Thy
age is not thou most graceful of thou characteristics. And thy
smoking hath to stop. Lungs be dying Stromile."
"If I give up table tennis," asked Keegan thoughtfully, chewing on
his pipe. "Can I keep on smoking?"
Shakespeare sighed.
"Go on, thou cans't leave now, Stromile."
Keegan shakily got up from the bed and shuffled out of the medibay.
Shakespeare walked over to his desk and noted down the time, person
and injury to his accident book and walked over to fetch some clean
syringes.
The medibay doors opened and Hazel Coffey entered the room, a smile
on her face.
She looked about the people in the room and beamed wider.
"How are things in the bay?" she asked.
"Ah Hazel!" replied Shakespeare, walking back into the main room,
over to his love and giving her a hug.
"Hows't was the resteth of rehearsals?"
"Not too good. Stewie broke down. But we'll be great on the
night. That reminds me, I've come up with a good idea for how to
style your hair."
"Hmm, thy hath caputed mys't interest," said Shakespeare laughing.
Coffey kissed Shakespeare. She drew back and then frowned slightly
and peered over Shakespeare's shoulders to the rest of the room's
occupants.
"William," she began. "Why is it so quiet in here?"
Shakespeare laughed. "It ith, a long tale." He said.
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Able: Well the ship I was on, it kinda crashed a bit.
Kryten: Crashed a *bit*?
Able: Yeah, all the people just lay there and wouldn't talk to
me. After a few years, I figured out they must be dead.
(Mechanoids Kryten and Able from: Series 7 - Episode: Beyond a Joke)
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