Am I the only one who is qualified and sain in the medi-bay?

Tara walked into Dr.Keto's office after unlocking it. She held a syringe with a mouldy green coloured gunkey liquid in it in her right hand and a syringe with a very strong pain killer in the other,
"Here, urm..." Tara thought for a moment 'what the hell do you call a male parrot' "urm, here polly i've got some seed for you" she said. Schweeble jumped out of the tree sending it across the office where it rustled in disgust. Schweeble squawked and pretended to fly towards Tara. As he did so Tara got the needle ready and stuck it into the Parrot. Schweeble groaned looked around, saw the human shaped hole in the door and groaned again
"What the smeg happened, I've got the worst hangover in history"
"Here this will dull the pain, and numb most of your body for 24 hours" Schweeble looked slightly alarmed then smiled as the effects of the drugs took hold. Tara carried him into the main medi-bay and put him on a medi-bed,
"So what did happen to me?" Tara explained about the dog tablets, sickness tablets  and the various mental fluctuations.....
<Care to take over from here>