Lt. Jason Smegg: "What actually happened in Garbage Bay 10"
Lt. Smegg realized that dropping the bomb was a big mistake.
It might go off.
The explosion could probably take out half the ship and leave the other
half with its oxygen rushing out into space through the kilometer-wide
hexagonal hole which would then be the front end of the ship.
The lieutenant covered his eyes. So did Marlene Cauty and the entire
science team. Not that it would help.
The bomb went off. BOOM!
Twenty seconds later, Smegg opened his eyes. "Oh." he said. "I knew it.
There is a hell after all."
Then he rubbed his eyes and saw that what he was looking at was not the
devil but Ensign Marlene Cauty, frozen in place with her hands still
covering her eyes.
Somehow the ship hadn't blown up! Yippee! "Everybody! Open your eyes!
We're alive! It's a wonderful day"
The ensign and her science team also opened their eyes and after several
moments of confusion came to their senses.
At least as best they could. For while the bomb had not done any physical
damage, it had covered the entire garbage bay with epsilon radiation. It
was not one of the standard happy bombs, but instead an enriched
neutronic happy bomb. These bombs had been banned by a treaty which
covered all "biological and chemical weapons." They could just as easily
have been used to good effect in one's own country, but nooo, they were
classified as biological weapons and were thus illogically banned,
forcing nations to continue killing each other's populations before
taking control of their government.
So now we have a room full of giddy, suggestion-prone people who are
probably about to roam around the ship or something infecting other crew
members with epsilon radiation... Hmmmmm......
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"We are... two bold and stupid men!"
- Dirk Perfect and Guido Crescendo
Itinerant Swordsmen and
Instructors in the Art of Gentlemanly Behavior
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