The Curse of the Tree

"ARGH, get it off of ME!" yelled Keto, sprinting out of the medibay
with the Big Pink Tree in hot pursuit.
It was quite surprising just how fast an animated vegetable could
move. Keto was hard pressed to stay ahead of it as he skidded round
several corners.
Finally, he took a wrong turn and hit a dead end. Spinning round,
he drew his ointment bottle once more and aimed it at the Tree as it
followed.
"FREEZE, PLANTLIFE!" he screamed. The Big Pink Tree stopped dead,
apparently staring at the nozzle of the bottle. Keto smiled evilly.
"So, you're BACK, are you?"
There was a pause, then...
*Rustle*
Keto sighed. "I thought you burned up in the engines of that
Starbug?"
*Rustle. Rustle-rustle.*
"Seeds? You mean you SPROUTED?"
*Rustle.*
"Oh God," moaned Keto, "How many other seeds were there?"
*Rustle.*
"Well, that's a relief. So you're the only one?"
*Rustle,* rustled the Big Pink Tree, somewhat sadly. Keto snapped
his fingers at it.
"That's enough of that! Don't mope. You weren't supposed to be
here anyway. You're a hallucination, don't you understand that?
Theoretically, you can't even exist!"
There was another slight pause, during which Keto lowered the
ointment bottle slightly. Then the tree rustled again. Keto's head
snapped up and he glared at the tree.
"What do you mean you could? You're theoretically impossible!"
*Rustle," said the Big Pink Tree, shaking it's leaves, *rustle*.
"That's never been proven!" snapped Keto, "And besides, Heidegger
and Quail didn't know a hypothetical situation from a hole in the
ground!"
*Rustle.*
"It's not YOUR theory, you stupid stick, it was invented by two of
the greatest minds in the world!"
*Rustle-rustle, rustle?*
Keto hesitated.
"Uh...then why do I know that they were wrong?
Because...uh...because they were!"
*Rustle?*
"BECAUSE I SAY SO!" yelled Keto angrily, raising the ointment once
more, "And just remember which one of us has the ointment bottle
here, pal! And the opposable thumbs!"
An uneasy silence reigned for a few minutes. Finally, Keto cursed
loudly and dropped the bottle.
"Ah, forget it. It'll be too much hassle to deal with if I
dissolve a tree in the corridor. So what is it you want exactly?"
The Tree gave the impression of smiling.
*Rustle rustle, rustle.*
"Fine, whatever," said Keto, "You can live in the medibay if you
like. I guess we can put up with that. You can't be any worse than
Shakespeare..."
He blinked, then looked up at the Tree again.
"...although I could be wrong. Come on, I have to go tell Smegg
that we have a new member of the team now - Hazel Coffey."
The tree rustled again.
"FINE! Whatever! TWO new members, just PERFECT! Somehow I just
*know* that Shakespeare's behind this!" snarled Keto, and turned to
march off down the corridor to find Smegg.
Behind him, the Tree followed. It rustled.
"And I'm NOT your Daddy!" Keto yelled, quickening his pace.
Smegg was quite startled when Keto angrily strode into engineering,
followed by a large, jumping, technicoloured plant and demanded that
Ointmentator II: Mercutio be registered for Robot Wars officially,
with two new members in the team.
"...please," Keto amended, finally.
============
OOC - yes, it's back. Don't know whether to be happy, scared or just
plain confused.
I know Olde Ointment was already registered, but apparently since
the team's been updated, as it were, we need to reapply. Of course,
that's up to Smegg. :)