Shove it!

Get inside it.

INSIDE it.

What the fuck.

Seriously, what the ACTUAL fuck.

Jay had never taken Artemis for someone who possessed a full set of marbles, but his plan made him seem a little more…how could Jay put this delicately...totally off his fucking head than normal.

I mean sure. Jay had come up with a few unorthodox plans in his time. Ok. Lots.
Ok. A FUCKTON of unorthodox plans. It was like a smegging trademark.
But even in his irrational, grief stricken, rage-driven state of mind that he was currently in he could tell that Artemis plan could be described only as completely batshit.

Easy for him to smegging say as well. “Oh, don’t worry, just climb inside the relentless killing machine, no biggie, now gotta go – have fun BYE!” The smegger.

It was like telling someone to stop a star going supernova by ‘just’ moistening their fingers and pinching it, as one might a candle.

Jay popped his head around the side of the fork-lift he was taking cover behind and was instantly greeted by a barrage of mini-gun fire. He ducked back just in time for the bullets to tear over his head and riddle the bulkhead with holes.

He glanced down at the assault rifle in his hands. He might as well have brought a pea-shooter. He was no slouch when it came to strategy and tactics but he was at a loss.
He couldn’t get near the thing, let alone get through it’s armour, or near any of the hatches that enabled access to it’s engine housing, ammo stores or CPU.

What was it Pritchard had said? It will have adapted to every attack used against it over the millennia, and will be able to anticipate any conventional strategy that might be attempted.

Any conventional strategy.

Come on Jay, he thought, this should be easy. Unconventional strategies are what you do best.
He glanced around his immediate surroundings.
Perfect…
He reached out with a foot, not daring to risk exposing his head or torso again, and managed to kick free a fire extinguisher mounted on a nearby wall. He rolled it clumsily with his foot until he could safely reach it when he scooped it up and tossed it over his shoulder. He heard the whirr of the robots neck as it’s head moved to follow the canister, giving Jay the opportunity to pop up just for a second and shoot the extinguisher.
The room filled with foam, which coated the mech’s optics.
Jay took this as his moment to move, while the droid was confused, and before it’s secondary sensors kicked in he stood and grabbed the fire hose from the same part of the wall where he’d grabbed the extinguisher. He ran toward the robot, getting in close enough that even if it’s sensors came online it might not detect him. Still clutching the hose, he ran round and round the robots legs, as it whirred and clicked trying to find him. Then, when he’d wrapped enough of it around it’s legs, he leapt as fast as he could back behind the forklift, tied the nossle to it’s forks, and climbed into the cab, accelerating away until the hose was taught and the bipedal mech tripped and fell to the floor.
He clambered back out of the cab and ran at full pelt back toward the machine, questioning, not for the first time, his most recent decision. The bot was flailing about, trying to right itself, and Jay managed to grab a grenade off the feeder belt that led into it’s arm mounted launcher, yanked open an access panel on the machines back, pulled the pin from the grenade and shoved it inside, running back behind cover just as a the hulking mechanoid got it’s bearings and got to it’s feet. Wheeling round to take a shot at Jay – but it was too late, the grenade detonated, blowing the droid apart from the inside.
When the debris had stopped raining down, Jay popped his head up.

“Knew it. Piece of cake.”

He scooped up his rifle and headed toward the time-gate, in search of Artemis and Lindstrom.