Darth Jaxx and Calamaty Eve

<snip>
Here we go…
“Er, guuyys…” came a robotic monotone .
“Not now Jaxx” snapped Jay.
“Indeed!” Agreed Artemis. “Time is of the essence… We must-”
“Se-rious-ly… Guuyys…” droned the skutt-sheep.
I broke my gaze from where it had returned to rest on Artie's hair, and looked over to see the second stable hand and several more staff we’d obviously missed, creeping towards us. They looked like they were about to attempt their letchy, leechy, Kiss of Life on several of the Dwarfers.
“Not again…”
Everyone snapped into action.
Except me.
I finished me fag first.
<snip/>

Evelina sighed as she muttered, “Bloody Hell! Its like a bad episode of Attack of the Alien Zombies.” Evelina quickly pulled up her skirt and pulled out her pulse rifle and aimed it at the people infected by parasites. The people infected by parasites merely gave an evil grin and began running at the crew members. Skutter Jaxx got in front of Evelina as he whipped out his holo-whips from under his sheep skin and said in his monotone voice, “Stay behind me Eve babe. I will totally handle the ones that get to close.” Evelina smiled as she began aiming and shooting as she replied, “Thanks Fuzzy Lumpkins.” Skutter Jaxx replied with a recorded snip from Elvis, “Don’t be cruel little mama.” Evelina mere giggled as she began shooting.

Several of the other crewmembers began laying cover fire to take down the attackers.
(Insert what you all did.)
However due to bad aim or a bad case of jitters some of the attackers were able to get close enough for hand-to-hand combat.

Skutter Jaxx stood his ground as two attackers ran at him and stooped as they prepared to fight him. Skutter Jaxx quickly turned on the theme song for Darth Vader.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehrj58nJBJI

One of the attackers said, “No matter how hard your try or what technology you use it will not be enough to stop us.” As Jaxx said in a recorded Darth Vader voice, “It appears the Smeg is strong in you two bros, but do not totally underestimate the power of the Calamar.” One of the attackers replied, “Don’t try to scare us with your ancient sorcerer ways squid-head. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion won’t help you stop us, nor will it save you now.” Jaxx quickly lit up his holo-whips and lashed them around the necks of the two attackers and began chocking them. The attackers dropped to their knees as the holo-whips were painfully chocking them. Skutter Jaxx then replied in his Vader voice, “I find your lack of faith disturbing bro. Now you will experience the full power of the Calamar.”

With that Skutter took off and yanked the two attackers and began spinning them in a circle as the holo-whips were still chocking them. Skutter Jaxx began spinning in a smaller circle and the two men began rising higher and higher till they were around ten feet high then Skutter Jaxx released them and sent them flying high and towards the direction of the house. Meanwhile Evelina managed to shoot a few more attackers while staying behind Skutter Jaxx. As Evelina watched the men fly away she replied, “Wow Fuzzy Lumpkins you totally got some distance with those two.” Skutter Jaxx replied in his monotone voice, “Aww Eve babe. Why are you like teasing me and stuff?” Evelina giggled as she said, “I can’t help it Jaxx you look so cute.” Just then more attackers were approaching and Evelina jumped on Skutter Jaxx’s back and yelled, “Get along little Fuzzy!” Skutter Jaxx sighed as he quickly let Evelina ride on his back like a cowgirl as she took potshots at the attackers with her pulse rifle.

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